radical-mama

Finding our new normal

2012-01-14T03:50:00.000-08:00

Our beautiful Miri is five weeks old now and we are feeling our way towards our new normal as a family of five. The days begin to feel comfortable, getting out of the house with all three girls on my own feels easier and less fraught, Miri's periods of longer, settled sleep in the sling are more predictable allowing me more time for the older two.

We have time for baking and I find that at some point in the last month, Len and Fliss can do it by themselves if I tell them how much of each ingredient to add.

Gratuitous cute baby yawn picture!

Len's National Geographic Kids magazine ignites an interest in Ancient Egypt when it comes with a kit for making a plaster of paris death mask.

Fliss joins in the painting.

This photo sums up my lovely Chris. He has just walked in from work, been handed Miri, he is holding Len's lion while she is on the loo and you can't see that Fliss is hanging off his trousers.

We manage a museum trip with friends, (matching outfits unintentinal!) Miri enjoys the walking and sleeps the whole time, Len and Fliss make friends with an Iguanadon, watch the fish being fed in the aquarium and Len asks lots of questions about Mummies in the Ancient world section and gets all of the answers right in a quiz in the hands on section, impressing me and the member of staff who gave us the answers!

Full days, busy, making me so tired I'm dropping by tea time...but just so much fun!

Clare xxx

Baby mooning

2011-12-20T11:09:00.000-08:00

Wonderful Miranda is 10 days old. She is a peaceful, quietly happy baby who doesn't sleep much during the day, she prefers to punctuate her constant nursing with periods of staring calmly at whoever is holding her. At night she nurses every few hours without really waking up.

While we get to know her, we are also enjoying being at home together, having Chris off work for so long (just under a month altogether with Miri's perfect timing!) is so wonderful. We have had snowball fights, lots of the usual imaginative play, enjoyed lots of visits, a Christmas party, some crafting, plenty of Christmas films and a lot of time spent just staring back at the newest member of our family. We are so very in love.

Clare xxx

Miranda's birth

2011-12-11T03:41:00.001-08:00

I started having mild rushes at 3am on Friday morning, my usual pregnancy insomnia time, so I couldn't get back to sleep. Happily waved Chris off to work and phoned my Mum and S (my doula) to let them know I thought it would be soon.The girls and I had a pretty normal day, continuing with irregular contractions right through Chris' work day, tea time and getting the girls to sleep.Then I called my Mum and doula round at about 8pm to keep me company as I had sent Chris for a sleep. The rushes weren't getting any more exciting so the three of us cleaned the house! They went home at about 11, I got Chris up.

At about 1.30 my rushes got more intense so we put the pool up and got my doula back. She settled her 4 mth old to sleep on our sofa then she and Chris took turns in holding my hands, joining in my singing and shoving hard on my back. At 2am we rang the midwives and my Mum who arrived at 3am to watch me have transition, where I decided vocally that I was not having a baby and wanted a wee.Soon, the rushes slowed down, and I started to feel pushy, so after spending ten minutes laughing at myself because I'm silly and I like pushing, I got out of the pool and faffed about with different positions until I decided to get back in.My waters went bang as soon as I tried pushing in the pool, then we had a few scary moments as the mws thought we had a cord prolapse. On flipping over so they could see better, it just turned out to be a squishy bit of head, so I roundly yelled at the midwife for scaring me, then pushed Miranda out in two more pushes. Doula's baby woke up as Miri started to yell, she picked him up and brought him over to say hello. He thought it was funny!

I picked her up, felt a huge rush of love and exhilaration and spent a good ten minutes laughing until she started rooting so I fed her and by the time her cord had stopped pulsing, I pushed again and delivered the placenta in the pool. Miri has been latched on constantly since (when she isn't shouting about farting!), we had our prosecco and woke Leni and Fliss. Both are delighted with their baby sister! She weighed 8lb6, a whopping 2lb heavier than my previousheaviest and was born at 5.55am.

Clarexxx

Blessingway

2011-12-07T03:32:00.001-08:00

38 and a bit weeks pregnant, my wonderful doula threw me a Blessingway yesterday. Lots of chocolate cake, happy children and gorgeous babies and my lovely friends.

35 weeks

2011-11-13T07:39:00.000-08:00

And this weekend has been spent filling the freezer with wintery meals and snacks! Hence how tired I look.

My latest midwifery appointment confirmed that Miri is head down (hurray!) which gets my only worry out of the way. I would have still had a homebirth had she remained breech, but I had no appetite for the inevitable fight.

I am still enjoying late pregnancy, but Leni is struggling. She is having nightmares and crying a lot in the daytime over various worries. Today it has been worrying about having too much food ready for after Miri is born. We deal with the worries by explaining as much as we can and comforting her when the explanations don't help. It is hard to watch her find change so difficult.

Clare xxx

In amongst a dreadful week...

2011-10-28T09:22:00.000-07:00

Where listing the litany of woe would take all day, instead I'll focus on the good things.

Miranda is now head down most of the time.

I still have lots of energy.

Leni and Fliss have been going to bed before 9pm.

Pinterest crafty suggestions saved more than one day.

As did Chris arriving home with energy and patience for the children and chocolate for me.

We have finished the Christmas shopping for the children.

The laundry basket is almost empty.

Our insurance money came through, an Ipad is being delivered for me on Monday.

I'm looking forward to this weekend, there is lots of fun planned.

We have two tiny pumpkins to carve.

I will be able to put in the fruit tree order at the end of the month, including a damson tree for Miranda's placenta.

Clare xxx

The return of energy!

2011-10-18T00:19:00.000-07:00

Well, who knew how quickly Flouradix would work! After just a few days my head feels clear and works properly again, I can do more than just 'cope' and it is great!

So, over the last few days I have been a flurry of cooking, baking, kid's activities and have cleared half of the laundry pile of doom. We changed over the girls' clothes for winter and re-organised the living room.

Chris tells me I can only post this if I make it clear that he didn't eat ALL of that dish of plum crumble. (Just lots!)

Pinterest is giving me lots of great ideas for things to do with Leni and Fliss, yesterday morning I set up a 'potions lab' for them...

Then a friend came round for lunch and the children decided to fill the bath with balls!

Then Leni decided that she wanted playdough, so we made some salt dough decorations.

Fliss tells me that in this picture she has made a dinosaur.

And just because Fliss' sense of style needs celebrating...

Hurray for feeling human again!

Clare xxx

Another of those day in the life posts

2011-10-12T03:55:00.000-07:00

Because I quite enjoy doing them and find them useful to look back on. So, here is Wednesday.

Waking up at 7.30am (me and Fliss) or 8.30am (Leni) we began the day with a cuppa, breakfast and a couple of episodes of Nina and the Neurones.

Leni and Fliss want to play out at the front of the house, I feel daft standing around so suggest a walk to the 'little woods' at the end of the road (literally).

We spend a very enjoyable hour in the giant puddles and watching squirrels and talking about oak trees then when the rain starts getting heavy we return and have hot chocolate.

Leni decides to do some puzzles, Fliss plays with Mama Duck and her eggs (a rubber duck, some beads for eggs and a box for a nest).

They watch some of the Cbeebies channel while I prepare tonight's dinner and they eat melon and dress in their swimming costumes for a bath when the bread is cooked. I flit in and out of the living room and investigate pinterest!

They decide to have lunch while waiting for the bread - leek and potato soup.

Bath!

Then the afternoon slump hits me, so I lounge on the sofa for an hour or two while Leni and

Fliss eat the rest of the melon, have a stuffed animal tea party and watch animal birth videos

and some more Cbeebies.

Having hauled myself off the sofa (it takes a while and is accompanied by much huffing) we make toilet roll owls. When they get into painting, I wash the dishes (this is noteworthy as I NEVER wash dishes).

Another bath I think...

Then we watch 'Happy Feet' and after that dinner. Pumpkin and squash stew with pumpkin bread. Leni declares it to be the 'best stew ever', I pile mine with chilli flakes and salt (craving of the moment!).

Evening...not a lot. Having dropped her nap, Fliss is tired and grumpy in the evenings so we stick to relaxing, some books, some TV. Then my Mum comes round at 7pm to take me (and Fliss) to home birth group. I get back in at 10.30, Leni has just gone to sleep.

Clare xxx

30 weeks

2011-10-08T01:31:00.000-07:00

Or alternatively, looking at my previous successful pregnancies...6 weeks until Leni was born, 9 weeks until Fliss was born. Which makes Miranda's arrival feel imminent and me feel unprepared!

Saying that, there really isn't much to do for Miranda. There is an NCT sale next week where I will buy the last few bits of clothes that needed replacing and possibly pick up a few more cloth nappies.

It is Yule that is causing the unprepared feeling!

To update on niggles, the sciatica is much the same (good), Miranda is still breech (not worrying yet) and I don't have late pregnancy tiredness yet (hurray!). I have started the natal hypnotherapy and am surprised at how well I remember what I am doing and how easily I 'trance' this time.

Having written three birth plans now, I amuse myself with how the focus has changed each time. My first plan was cautious, my second mainly said 'keep the hell away from me', this one mainly says 'do nothing until you have explained why'. I don't plan on informing the midwives that I have panic attacks if a midwife touches me when I'm in labour and Chris feels confident enough to catch Miranda on his own this time (the midwife guided his hands last time). Leni wants to be woken/told as soon as Miranda is born but doesn't want to be there for the birth so the girls will have the playroom and bedrooms as their space during the birth, although I imagine they will sleep through it.

In my head, Miranda is dark eyed and has dark hair, is less chilled than Fliss but not as unhappy a baby as Leni was. I'm window shopping for slippers and pajamas for me a lot, there is something wonderfully fitting about nesting in Autumn. Something just fits, hot chocolate, real fire, stews, slippers and a newborn. I can't wait.

Clare xxx

Two blankets

2011-10-07T02:10:00.000-07:00

For my biggest and smallest girls.

Leni's very red Granny stripe blanket is single bed sized, used 9 balls of Stylecraft DK, 3 each of lipstick, claret and scarlet. The edging is a granny stripe row and a HDC row in scarlet, two rows of triple in lipstick and this (http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/edging-for-a-giant-granny) edging in claret.

Miranda's blanket is a wool aran in rose pink picked up ages ago from Abakhan (those who know it, it was one of their fairly random cheap bags of yarn) and is a simple pinwheel. It was finished quite a while ago just haven't got round to photographing it until now!

Clare xxx

Autumn

2011-10-05T00:43:00.000-07:00

Autumn in our garden, digging out the compost heap with the help of the children and the chickens. Getting ready for fruit bush and tree planting later in the year and general tidying. I am so impressed with my compost, this being the first time I have done it, it was lovely. It must be the chicken's habit of sitting in the top of the bin looking for insects that has done it!

Compost makes me smile!

As does small children and chickens working together! I'm planning on putting raspberries in this patch.

To explain this photograph, the chickens like standing on top of their run so they can get onto the window ledge to see what is going on in the house (lovely funny birds they are!) which means that the rain cover gets very pooey. Fliss *loves* hosing off the rain cover while we clean out the coop.

After a tiring morning of gardening (well, tiring for this pregnant-with-sciatica Mama) we headed round to Chris' parents house. I love them really, nowhere else would I get chance to spend three hours sat crocheting on a comfy chair in the garden while being fed iced apple juice! Leni rode her bike round, we're lucky that she can as our houses are connected along the old railway which makes it a lovely walk.

Clare xxx

Making robots

2011-09-29T01:43:00.000-07:00

Craft directed by resident two year old.

(Fliss comes running upstairs making excited squeaky noises while I'm getting dressed)

'Mama, Mama, I need to make a robot'

'Ok, let me find some boxes for you...'

Result, one very very big smile!

Clare xxx

And days at the museum

2011-09-28T01:31:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about Autumn in our world is the trips to the museum. Over Autumn and Winter we go around weekly and the staff are just so amazing. There is one particular member of staff who so clearly loves his job and passes on so much of his enthusiasm, we usually spend an hour or so with him and he often has something new to show us. So, we go into his section and off goes Leni to talk to him, leaving me following Fliss as she makes animal noises and tries out masks.

After an hour or to there, we move back to the colour exhibition...

Clare xxx

Days at home

2011-09-15T02:54:00.000-07:00

Leni and Fliss have more need to spend time at home than I do. It is one of the aspects of autonomous parenting that I have found the most difficult really, in my ideal world I would be surrounded by lots of people all of the time, Leni and Fliss need a minimum of two days a week at home not doing very much. I found last winter very difficult as they were firmly in hibernation mode and I do find long tracts of time at home without adult company affect my mood badly.However, the more time I spend trying to honour their need to be at home the more I see just why they need it. They might spend three hours watching TV, then we'll have an explosion of ideas, of wanting to talk about things, of making things. Clearly this is their thinking time, time when ideas are formed and when learning happens invisibly.

During this time, they really don't want much input from me. We might exchange a few words about what is happening on the program they are watching, we might all sing along to the theme tune but if I try to 'engage' them too much I get met with grunts only. There is important brain work going on here.

So, I have spent a lot of time this year making our house a place where I really want to be. For me, having the chickens and cat, scattering craft projects and books around the house (they often want my company, but without me being active in what they are doing) make a difference. Relaxing about me sometimes watching TV while they are busy does too.

I find myself sometimes too focussed on being a 'good' autonomous educator, trying too hard and ending up feeling like a performing monkey. One of the great things about pregnancy is that it makes this impossible, my input into their education now is the odd comment (along the lines of, 'that reminds me of...'), provider of paint and paper in vast quantities, help with the computer as needed, help with impromptu making things as they come up with ideas and the usual daily science explanation for Leni (today's was condensation). I find myself thinking that this home ed stuff should be hard work, I should feel 'busy' with child related stuff when really, they do a great job of it all by themselves as long as I am available and occasionally introducing interesting stuff I've found.

Clarexxx

26 weeks

2011-09-13T01:02:00.001-07:00

My favourite part of pregnancy, lovely wriggly baby to talk to, not feeling sick any more but not getting to the discomfort of late pregnancy yet.

Leni asks a lot if the baby likes her and has put herself in charge of making Miranda laugh.

Fliss asks the baby to share food with her and tries to post it into my belly button.

I enjoy the waiting and preparing and making space for another lovely tiny girl. I daydream about nursing her in front of the wood burner on Christmas day. I knit constantly and talk to her so much I probably look a bit mad walking down the street chatting to my bump.

Clarexxx

Not back to school

2011-09-09T09:59:00.001-07:00

After spending Monday and Tuesday recovering from the weekend (me!) and engaged in busy usual at home play (Leni and Fliss) our busy not back to school week began on Wednesday with a not back to school picnic with our lovely Home Ed group.

The museum has a brilliant new colour exhibition which really caught the imagination of Leni and her friend S. They also enjoyed playing lion hunting around the Roman section. As usual, we were there until chucking out time so we walked down to meet Chris from work and went home together.

No pictures from Thursday, but we enjoyed an afternoon at a HE friend's house. She has just started a Granny stripe blanket and I ordered the yarn (shades of red, for Leni of course!) to make a single bed sized one today as I was really reluctant to order an acrylic yarn without having felt it first.

On to today. A quiet breast feeding cafe kicked off the day, but it was lovely to see my doula's lovely newborn who will be coming to Miranda's birth!

Then out for noodles, meeting up with a friend who has just de-registered her 8 and 5 year old boys (she also has a 3yo girl). Leni is so happy about getting to see them more often and we all went on to the swings.

We finally got home at 5pm...straight out to play with our over the road friends!

Plan for the evening; knitting, film and sleep!

Clarexxx

DIY Feminist Festival

2011-09-05T01:00:00.000-07:00

This was such an inspiring and exhausting weekend!

Particularly inspiring were the workshops on class and feminism and a workshop on tactical inclusion (of children, older people and disabled people) in direct action. Possibly the very best thing about the weekend was the amount of amazing young men who were attending and were the main people running the children's tent.

Such wonderful people, from a fascinating anarchist Granny who took her then 2 year old son and let him run wild in court when she was being prosecuted for not paying Poll Tax, to a young transgendered man who had got his parents involved in legal support for the direct actions he was involved in.

We stayed at an anarchist housing co-op, which was a beautiful building, lived on curry provided by Manchester's Food not Bombs group and generally enjoyed the atmosphere!

Leni and Fliss, well, I feel like I hardly saw them! There was so much fun stuff going on that I mostly saw them when they were hungry or sleepy!

I ran a work shop on feminism and breast feeding which had more people there who weren't parents than were. I think the best things that came out of it was a sharing of ideas on how feminists can support women who are breast feeding in public, and a greater awareness for some people about the tactics used by formula companies to destroy breast feeding in the developing world.

I really wish I had got some photographs of the glitter fight, initiated by the children...very enthusiastically continued by a group of PhD students, and now mainly all over my bed!

Clare xxx

This week

2011-09-02T00:58:00.000-07:00

In the 'impromptu crafts' section, Chris took Len and Fliss shopping at the weekend and picked up some paint your own flexible lizard kits that they thought looked good. While painting them, Len decided that they are Marine Iguanas (watch the Octonauts episode, they are a very cool animal. Sneezing out salt, what could be funnier when you are 5!?) and that they needed a beach.

One Abel and Cole box lid, papier mache rocks, felt water and wheat bran (which makes

surprisingly realistic sand) later...

On Tuesday we had some HEing friends come round to play, which was the usual mix of Len and Fliss wanting to cuddle the baby more than she wanted to be cuddled, lots of play with cars and the town rug too.

A not doing much sort of day on Wednesday. Leni has been enjoying watching 'Handy Manny' a lot lately and now keeps her philips head and flat head screwdriver in a gold hand bag so she can fix things wherever she happens to be. Love her, she is so much fun.

On Thursday we ran up to the shops to stock up on snacks for our weekend away (and 144 antacid tablets for me...the joy!) and spent most of the afternoon playing board games. Well, Leni and I play them, Fliss runs joyfully through the middle shouting!

Friday, began with bubble painting. Moved to general playing with straws and blowing water, then packing and organising for the weekend and DIY!

Clare xxx

Another yarn related post!

2011-08-24T03:38:00.000-07:00

There is just something about pregnancy that makes me need to knit. And dye. A lot. Whether anyone in the house needs knitted clothes or not.

Purple variegated yarn cooking next to roasted squash fajita filling, because if I'm going to be standing at the oven poking stuff anyway...And drying in the garden with a towel wash. Getting yarn dry is one way to make me put washing out!

Pinwheel baby blanket on the go.
Booties with icord using the last of Sarah's multi-coloured hand dye.
I have conquered sock knitting! I dislike DPNs (because the children pull the out, or they fall out in my handbag!) so used the opportunity to figure out magic loop...oh, it is wonderful!
Two pairs of shorties for Miranda knitting with my last batch of multicoloured hand dye.

Currently on the needles...more baby socks, a hat for Leni from that purple hand dye and the baby blanket.

Clarexxx

Parenting Manifesto

2011-08-22T07:34:00.000-07:00

Without going into it all, last week I had my confidence and mental health totally rocked by a bullying Children Missing Education Officer followed by an unannounced visit from a Health Visitor. The purpose of the visits was, as was made abundantly clear to 'check on the children' as we haven't been 'seen' by any health professionals or similar official types for 'too long'.

My confidence is as low as it was before I had Leni, I've been finding it difficult to eat and am scared to open the front door. I will not let it stay that way. I'd prefer to be angry rather than scared, so letters have been dispatched to complain and to provide an Ed Phil. I feel the need to shout about the things I care about. They are different to the mainstream and actually, I feel that they represent the gold standard for parenting. Your gold standard is probably different.

People before things. Fliss' desire to chuck baking soda and dessicated coconut around the kitchen and to declare that it is snowing is more important than either kitchen floor, coconut or baking soda.

Children are people too. I give my children the same respect and courtesy I would give to adults. More in some cases, depending on the adult. I wouldn't try to alter an adult to suit my life or preferences, I won't do this to my children.

Given an interesting environment, they will learn what they need to. I strew, I offer activities, I present ideas for days out. They say yes or no, and come up with their own ideas too.

Discipline is about solving problems together. Not riding roughshod over their emotions; asking what went wrong and figuring out together how to solve the problem. When people are angry and upset they already feel bad enough, it is my job to make it better, not punish and make it worse.

Clarexxx

You know when you have a total loss of brain...

2011-08-17T09:49:00.001-07:00

well, I am convinced that baby Miranda has eaten mine.

We've been having problems with Fliss and sleep. She reached the awkward stage where they still need a nap, but want to have it at about 4pm, for three hours then be awake until 1am. So, attempting to respect what her body needs we threw ourselves into coping with it. Chris and I took shifts so the other one could get a bit more sleep, but it ground us down until last week when Chris, I and both children slept right through Chris' alarms (note the plural, there are three!) every day for a week leading to a stressed out Chris, tired and crabby me and both children wondering why we were snappy.

We decide we need to do something. Changing a person's sleep routines for them is not something that we have done before and it felt all wrong. So a few days pass, no bright ideas as to how to deal with it.

About half an hour ago I was stood in the kitchen and had a brainwave.

Fliss needs to eat earlier.

The problem is clearly that instead of going to sleep for the night at 5/6pm she is waking up to eat her dinner with us! Now, I adore us all eating together, but Chris often doesn't get home until 7pm, which means dinner is at its earliest 7.15. Fliss was going to sleep at just the time that she could have a few hours, wake up for dinner then enjoy the evening/night/early hours.

So today I have fed the children at the time when Fliss would be trying to go to sleep. She is happily munching away on her pasta, at a time that had become a sort of witching hour of...NOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

We'll eat together at the weekends until it suits Fliss to change things round again. As always, these fabulous little people know exactly what they are doing, it just takes us a bit longer to catch on.

Clare xxx

Hand dyeing

2011-08-16T01:31:00.000-07:00

For which I blame Sarah for sending me pretty yarn!

Oh, but hand dyeing is so much fun! The supplies arrived on Saturday so I started (just 200g of BFL aran as it was my first try) on Sunday morning. I used Landscape dyes, and am impressed with the colours.

Leni was fascinated, and helped me to prepare the yarn and was keen to help with the poking and turning too.

In our house, Chris is the official ball-winder. He finds it relaxing, and was cooing over the yarn. I call that a success!

Shorties in progress for Miranda!

Clarexxx

Miranda bump

2011-08-12T03:07:00.000-07:00

Also known by Fliss as 'beebee bump' and 'beebee 'randa'. Anyway, here she is. 22 weeks pregnant, minus my head because frankly, my eye bags hit my cheekbones at the moment and I just don't need to be reminded of that!

Clare xxx

Nesting

2011-08-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

One big job ticked off in the 'book of baby lists' last weekend. Our third bedroom was painted in an odd sort of mushroom colour and we had been using it as a dumping ground. Combine this with Chris and I both feeling overwhelmed with all of the toy storage being in the living room (Leni's room, where she now sleeps most of the time is too small for much storage) and we decided to turn it into a playroom.

It is painted in Earthborn paints Seagull, which is a very light bluey-grey. The only new acquisition is the town play rug (which you can just see a corner of!), the big low cupboards which store crafting materials and games were passed on through Chris' parents from a closing down

nursery.

The only thing left to do is to get a washing line up for the girls to display their art on! I AM tempted to make floor cushions at some point in the future though.

Putting the Poang chair (which was bought as a nursing chair when I was pregnant with Leni) in there makes it a great space for me to sit and knit in at the moment, and will be a lovely place to nurse Miranda when she is born.

Having this space has made so much difference to everyday life here. Chris and I find it very easy to keep it tidy as there is so much storage space (you can't see it, but it has a closet where most of the ride on/pram type toys are living) which in turn makes the rest of the house easier to keep on top of as we aren't drowning in toys. We also now he space in the living room for the dining table, which makes more space in the kitchen for clothes drying.

Clarexxx

Summing up the weekend...

2011-07-31T10:47:00.000-07:00

Bathing amongst Nana's tomatoes!

This week we have been...

2011-07-29T10:12:00.000-07:00

Making mud pies at 10pm

Colouring masks

Baking muffins

And probably most excitingly, having our 20 week scan. We opted for a growth and check of placenta position type scan rather than the full anomaly scan and all was good. I was fascinating to see the ridge shape on my uterus which is from where I'd been having Braxton-Hicks contractions all morning! We're having our third baby girl, who will be called Miranda Marjorie Erica. Marjorie is after Chris' Nana, Erica is after my Granddad, Miranda means 'admired'.

Finally, the presence of this baby actually sinks in for me, it just wouldn't for a while. I think because of the many many unpleasant things people had been saying to me about having three children. It was like when you're pregnant for the first time and everyone tells you horror stories of child birth! I can't wait to meet her now, I feel nest-y and we're planning to dig out the baby clothes tomorrow!

Clarexxx

Leni's 5th birthday

2011-07-24T04:09:00.000-07:00

Despite our original plans going awry due to my sister's illness (she's on the mend now, but it was very scary there for a few days) we managed to fill Leni's birthday yesterday with a celebration of all things, well, Leni.

Leni wrote a list of things she would like a month or so ago, a red dress, a red sun hat, Dragonolgy book, another book and a teddy bear holding some sweets. It was fun getting these presents for her and she was very happy, especially with the Dragonology book.

We spent the day mostly out of the house having pancakes for breakfast with her Nana, Grandad and Aunty (Chris' lot!), then going to the cinema to see Cars 2 which we all enjoyed. At home, we ordered in noodles and tofu from Leni's favourite noodle bar and spent the evening reading the new books.

I love having Leni around, as our eldest she is perfectly challenging and has brought us so far. I value her questioning so much and her readiness to tell us when we aren't getting it right. When we get cross she tells us to cut it out, when we need help, she's happy to help us, when I'm sad she is generous with her affection. As always, I am privileged to be her mother and so grateful for her presence.

Clarexxx

The baby knitting post.

2011-07-22T01:05:00.001-07:00

An obsessive knitter having her first winter baby equals non-stop knitting!

I have spent so much time since this pregnancy began immersed in lovely wool that I am nearly done with the baby knitting. This baby will be swathed in wool! Remaining on the list are the rest of the longies, a couple of shorties, another hat and perhaps a blanket.

So, we have...

Three Sheepy Sacks (http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/sheepy-sack) for night times and newborns.

One Ribbed Baby Jacket (http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/ribbed-baby-jacket)

One Baby Sophisticate (http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/ba

by-sophisticate)

One pair of longies (Thank you for the yarn Sarah it is sooooooo gorgeou

s!)

And one Pixie Hat (http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/zozo-pixie-c

ables)

I highly recommend the hat pattern in particular, it is very good fun and quick to knit, has a range of different stitches. I'd have liked it if the pattern included finished measurements though as I had a moment of 'argh argh, this looks like nothing on earth' which is resolved when you add the bottom band on!

Baby Sophisticate is also a lovely pattern to knit, top down so minimal finishing off and I like the shawl collar. I used the Sheepy Pants pattern for the longies and I *love* her way of doing short rows, it is easily the best I've tried!

Going to start on some red and green stripy longies now!

Clarexxx

Summer so far...

2011-07-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

We have, been to a friend's wedding (and eaten cake), played outside a lot, been to a blessingway (more cake) and enjoyed a fund raiser for a friend's housing co-op project (erm, cake).

No pictures just yet, but my summer has also contained much pregnancy and birth reading and a huge amount of baby knitting for my first winter baby!

Gardening successes have been strawberries, blackcurrants, peas and lettuce. Exciting plans are afoot for some re-organising this autumn to move further into permaculture so the chickens are enjoying being the official fertilisers and pest controllers! We're also working on making the chicken accommodation more luxurious and better for the winter. I also have some decorating plans in mind. Nesting much? Me?

Not many plans for the rest of the summer, a camping trip next week (weather dependant!) then days out planned as Chris needs to save holiday for when the Tadpole is born.

Clarexxx

Tired!

2011-06-27T00:54:00.000-07:00

Pregnancy this time round feels much different from the last two. Mainly that the usual round of first trimester symptoms are lingering into the second and that I am still so very tired. I assume the tiredness has more to do with coping with pregnancy with two energetic little girls, when I was pregnant with Fliss, Leni still had one after lunch nap whereas Fliss rarely naps and when she does it means she goes to bed after 10pm.

So, I'm feeling the Home Ed guilt. Despite the fact that I shouldn't as they have both been doing lots of new things so I clearly am still doing an ok job of getting out of their way!

Leni has started drawing more than faces and cats, in the last week she has expanded into sunshines, rainbows, trees and people with arms, legs and detailed faces (including pupils in the eyes!). She has also had a few goes at writing other people's names, her computer skills continue to astound me and she likes playing adding up on her (and my) fingers.

Fliss has begun imaginary play in earnest, explaining who she is 'being', who I am and often having conversations in character. She also talks to 'baby tummy' saying 'Hello, I'm Fliss. Hello baby tummy, I can do hopping. Hop, hop, hop. Bye Bye baby tummy'.

Back to baby tummy, I've booked a different doula for this birth as S who was at Fliss' birth is due to have her second baby in a month or so. I've been feeling the baby move for a few weeks now, and I look about ten weeks more pregnant than I am!

Rambly sort of blog really, more focus next time hopefully!

Clare xxx

Green Fayre

2011-06-05T11:25:00.000-07:00

We had a brilliant time at the Green Fayre today, stroking ponies from a horse sanctuary, holding a rescued burrowing owl (Chris fell so in love he didn't want to let go!), enjoying live music played by a big range of different bands (biased as I may be, but our friend's was the best!), drawing creepy crawlies, riding fairground rides, watching a fabulous circus show, eating ice cream and (for me!) nattering about pregnancy with my two pregnant friends.

The highlight of the day (boasting Mama moment - excuse me!) for me was Leni chatting about horses to the women caring for the ponies. She asked Leni if she was at school, Leni replied 'No, I'm home educated' and the women said to me 'Wow, you must be doing something right, she is the most articulate 4 year old I've ever met'. So great to have such a response to Leni saying she learns at home. I take no credit for how articulate she is, I just loved the moment!

Clare xxx

GP Meet 2011

2011-05-31T05:06:00.000-07:00

Wonderful as always, to see everyone, to meet new people, to watch the children.

I especially enjoyed the Women's Circle, thank you Joxy, it was wonderful and I think has contributed to how energised I feel by the whole weekend.

Leni and Morgan were inseparable, Fliss has been talking about Morgan in her sleep and well, I'm not sure I can hold out six months for the next one.

A typical Home Ed day in pictures

2011-05-16T11:52:00.000-07:00

Here is our submission to Merry's carnival here

http://www.patchofpuddles.co.uk/archives/5314/a-typical-home-ed-day-in-photos-request-for-carnival-submissions/comment-page-1#comment-275372

We are a Radical Unschooling family, Leni only gets dressed if we're leaving the house.

7.30am Fliss wakes up, I read to her and she watches videos on the Ipod.

8.00am Leni wakes up, they share a long bubble bath. While in the bath Leni and I act out

'Fantastic MrFox' by Roald Dahl.

8.30am We grab a pile of books and head downstairs to read.

9.30am I make breakfast (porridge and green smoothies). The girls watch Mister Maker and

Charlie and Lola. Fliss draws instead of eating.

10.00am General playing. I knit and feel sick (I'm 9 weeks pregnant).

10.00am We do bubble pictures. The idea came from Mister Maker.

11.00am The girls have a snack (pears and muesli) and watch Wibbly Pig. I make lunch. Fliss plays with dolls.

11.15am I drink a pint of camomile tea!

11.30am Leni plays the violin, I play my violin and Fliss plays the keyboard.

12.00noon They watch TV and play.

12.30pm We eat lunch, tomato and rice soup.

1.00pm We put a DVD on.

1.30pm We play ball. Leni flits in and out of Cbeebies games too.

2.15pm TV. Leni watches 'Alphablocks', Fliss watches 'Charlie and Lola'

2.45pm We draw on giant paper and do body outlines of both girls.

3.30pm Fliss naps, Leni pops bubble wrap and watches Fifi.

5.45pm Fliss wakes up, has a cuddle and a read. Leni plays on poissonrouge.com

6.30pm They decide on more soup for dinner rather than pasta. Chris arrives home.

7.00pm They watch Charlie and Lola and play ball and horses with Chris.

It is now 8.00pm and they're playing horses still, while Chris does the dishes. They will probably ask to go to bed in the next half hour, then read for an hour, then sleep.

Clare xxx

On plans, breaking them and the places it takes you.

2011-04-27T08:28:00.000-07:00

As Chris had booked time off this week we decided to do a not-far-away, one night camping trip to try out the bell tent. Leni had other plans.

As we were about to leave, she suddenly said 'I don't want to go'. We were bemused at first, asked why and she couldn't really answer. There were some tantrums (adult and child). Plan changing is one of the things that trigger my anxiety so I didn't react well. I calmed down quickly though and we spent yesterday around the house, enjoying the slower rhythm that Leni needed. Today though she woke up all systems go and we went swimming, out for lunch, to the swings and library, then to spend the vouchers Chris got as a bonus from work on art materials for the girls.

We have had a lovely day today. I wanted to remember it for the next time Leni declares a change of plan!

(and in all of the illness last week, Leni has changed her mind about weaning!)

Clare xxx

On weaning

2011-04-18T02:26:00.000-07:00

At the age of 4 years and 9 months, Leni has naturally weaned. I imagined feeling emotional about weaning when I thought about it when she was younger but it has been so gradual, such a gentle transition over the last year that it just feels beautifully normal. I decided that this was the path for us when Leni was 6 months old. 'Extraordinary Breastfeeding' was shown for the first time and it made sense to me, especially as breastfeeding had only just become easy for us and people were expecting me to switch her to a bottle.

Nursing Leni has profoundly changed me and I am so greatful for the experience. When I believed I had nothing left to give her, breastfeeding kept me coming back and was always just perfect. Leni's fierce need to nurse through toddlerhood, pregnancy, in labour and to tandem nursing and my ability to do it has proven to me that I am good enough, because she needs me to be. No depression can stand up to breastfeeding.

Now, at bedtime we read and snuggle until she goes to sleep. A change, but still the same connection and love.

Clarexxx

Beach!

2011-04-10T04:44:00.000-07:00

We had our first trip to the beach this year yesterday, which was made all the more lovely by the big group of friends we went with. It really wasn't like a spring day at all, just so warm. It didn't occur to me that it would be warm enough to swim so I wasn't prepared though, which just means a return trip soon for swimming. On to the adorable naked children pictures!Climbing sand dunes, because sliding down on your back is sooooo much fun!

Running in and out of the waves, over and over again.

Then cuddling up with Papa to get warm again.

Such a wonderful day, noone could bear to leave so we didn't get home until 9pm with Fliss already asleep and Leni not far behind.

Clarexxx

Happy birthday to me!

2011-03-25T03:47:00.000-07:00

A gorgeous sunny day, so a trip to Acorn Venture Urban Farm. It was started the year I was born (I'm 27 now!) and built up from what was a builder's dump to an amazing community venture that employs a high proportion of people who have special needs. Brilliant place!

They serve quite a lot of food they have produced in their cafe, including goat's milk ice cream that was a big hit with all of us!
We all enjoyed feeding this very friendly goat called Dora, Leni now wants goats!
Perfect day out for me really, outdoors, chance to cuddle sheep and natter about chickens.

Then home and our new friends who live opposite came outside to play, chalks, bubble blowing and they came in to meet our chickens. My sister popped round to bring me Michel Roux's Egg book, great present!

Clarexxx

Full of the joys of spring!

2011-03-23T07:35:00.000-07:00

Me more than Leni and Lici! Everything just seems easier, less effort. So much so that I suspect I have SAD.

I have the oomph required to make playdough and to enjoy watching Fliss squeeze food colouring onto the table and spread it around...I even had the energy to tidy up afterwards!
We have spent a lot of time this week playing on the drive with our new pavement chalks too, we have drawn a whole playground to play on.

Leni has been loving playing hopscotch...I drew 1-10, she insisted that it carry on to 32!

How I love Spring!

Clarexxx

Another day

2011-03-16T10:33:00.001-07:00

One of the reasons I started blogging was to have a Home Education record that was easy to access and showed more than how many times Leni has written her name lately. Still, blogging isn't perfect for recording and can't show the conversation we had about airbrushing in adverts, all of the time Leni is spending working out what letter the thing she is asking for begins with.

Having explained why I do these 'what we did today' posts, here goes.

Leni's 1/16 size violin arrived first thing! Of course, I had to get mine out too so we could play together. Leni seems to really be enjoying her forays into making music herself.

We also spent a lot of time chatting to the chickens, Fliss loves that she fits into the run easily. They are relaxing more around us now, Rose is crouching to let us pick her up and Hickety is happy to stand still and be stroked.

We are all really enjoying making domino runs at the moment, it is one of those great activities that works well on toddler, child and adult levels. We need more of these in our lives!

For her birthday, a friend bought Fliss a lovely gardening set, here Leni is watering the jerusalem artichokes and Fliss is digging for worms to give to the chickens.

Well, apparenty chickens enjoy music as much a humans do! I just love the look on Leni's face here, she is clearly really really enjoying playing!

Clarexxx

An egg!

2011-03-16T02:50:00.000-07:00

It weighed 43g and was eaten soft boiled for breakfast by Leni! It is the one on the left, the other is a medium sized one from our veg delivery people!

No idea who laid it, but probably not Gertie and she is a couple of weeks younger than the other two and her comb isn't as red.

Clarexxx

Felicity is 2 today!

2011-03-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

Our ray of utter sunshine and joy, we are so grateful to have you here with us! No bad mood can stand up to your infectious smile and we love your tenacity and determination.

We had a tea and cake party, just family and a couple of close friends round. Sadly, our camera was misbehaving so we don't have any photos of a lovely gang of little people digging and watering our garden in the sunshine. However, I do have pictures of the chickens to share!

This is Rose (named by Leni). Thus far, she is the middle chicken!

Here is the Boss! Hickety Pickety, who I am rather in love with.

And finally Gertie, Chris' choice, bottom of the order.

I am looking around at life today, friends round, children playing in the dirt, gorgeous chickens, cake and Chris making cups of tea and quite honestly I can't believe how great life is. I certainly didn't expect life to be so good but everything seems to be coming together for us.

Clarexxx

On style and body image

2011-02-22T09:46:00.000-08:00

Leaving aside my messed up relationship with food, I have been thinking a lot about clothes and identity. I am happy that since having Leni my body image has gone from frankly bizarre to realistic. I'm neither beautiful nor hideous and I could do with losing a couple of stone, but my lack of style does annoy me.

Pre-children (and stop giggling before you start!) I was into gothic victoriana, but lack of maternity clothes meant I floated away from it and when Leni was a couple of months old I decided that my taste in clothes had to 'grow up'. Which is probably symptomatic of me having fairly awful PND at the time and feeling as though I didn't know who I am. I realise that this was daft now. Since then I have dabbled in 'general hippy', 'scruffy' and 'semi-fashionable Mumsy'. None of these really make me feel like my clothes reflect me, which is the whole point.

So, I've been happily engaged in drooling over clothes for a few days and wondering how to find the money for them. How does one 'launch' a make over though? Especially one that not everyone will get? Just turn up to an event in satin corset coat (I am so glad I kept it!), skirt with bustle and corset? Erm......

In case anyone fancies a bit of Steampunk...look what I found... www.gaia-noir.co.uk Steampunk upcycled loveliness!

Clarexxx

A poem by Leni

2011-01-31T23:53:00.001-08:00

The octopus went for a swim
In a beautiful ocotopus boat
He never came home in the night
He came home in the morning
He couldn't go to bed because the light was on
He didn't want to brush his teeth
He lived in a wheelbarrow
He didn't want to stay awake
He didn't want to eat his food
And he never ever ever forgot to go downstairs

Clarexxx

Days at home and thoughts about television

2011-01-25T09:02:00.000-08:00

As Leni has been needing to stay at home for a few weeks I have been trying (with varying success!) to enjoy being at home more. I am assuming that the reason for her doing this is that she is really starting to be able to do other things while watching television and to have less desire for television in general. Personally, I'm ecstatic, but philosophically, I know that this is neither better nor worse than wanting lots of TV...I am enjoying doing other things with Leni though, hence all of the Leni-focussed posts lately!Here, Leni is dressed as the Queen of the Hula girls and we're setting up the Gruffalo Memory Game which Leni got for Yule for my Aunty. Lici is seeing how many of the tiny cards she can run away with!

One of Leni's new characters is Chloe the Queen of the mermaids, who has the super power of being able to fire hot bubbles from her hands. So we made a mermaid tail together.Cutting out pattern pieces.

Sewing on beads.
Finished! (I sewed it together, but Leni did all of the beads)

We also did the RSPB Big Bird Watch, as we are all enjoying feeding and watching the birds in our new garden so much.

See the numbers? Leni has begun writing 1, 2 and 3 pretty accurately and I'm mostly putting this on here to keep track of the photograph as Leni has cut up and re-used the paper now!

On television...well, I used to (back when TV was a very occasional thing) talk about how Leni would 'zombie out' and be oblivious to everything else around her when it was on. That scared me. It did feel as though television had some power over her, maybe there was something about the motion that 'hypnotises' some children. I was scared of it.

Well, Leni has had full autonomy since June now and watches a lot of television. Sort of. It is on a lot, but she is mostly doing something else and glancing up for the occasional few minutes. It is background noise, which isn't my ideal but does make Leni happy and life is sweeter with a happy Leni.

Clare xxx

Stories and muck

2011-01-17T10:52:00.000-08:00

I would like to present Leni's first book!

Once upon a time, there way a little egg that lay. There was nothing inside but a little chick.

The mother hen was out looking for food. She didn't notice that her egg was drying out in another part of the forest. There was another egg behind her. It was a goose's egg. It cracked.

This is the goose that popped out. The mother goose came. A spider came.

All of the eggs were waiting for their mother to come but they started to crack and noone noticed but a little princess that was me.

How I love the way that little girl's mind works. No idea where the spider came from or went though!

On Sunday we finally started sorting out the garden, Lici enjoyed the compost even more than I did, so just because mucky babies are lovely...
Clare xxx

Autonomous Education

2011-01-12T10:37:00.000-08:00

One of the things about Autonomous Education that I have found difficult to get used to is just how difficult I have found it to remind myself that Leni is NOT doing nothing when she is sat in front of the television for hours on end. A great example of this is the fascinating conversation we had yesterday about what makes people dead, sparked by Leni having just watched a single episode of 'Tinga Tinga Tales' for around two hours solidly. She wanted to know if people are dead because they have no heart left, we talked about how its more to do with whether your heart is beating or not and went on to discuss bleeding to death...

However, to balance those days where she is engrossed in television, we have days like today. For Yule I bought Leni a book of 'Grandmother's Stories' (how I love Barefoot books!) and one story in particular caught her attention as we were reading this morning...
It is a Japanese story of an old woman who makes the best sweet dumplings in the village and how a tribe of Onis steal a plateful. It includes description of how she makes the dumplings and today Leni wanted to try it.

So we found a youtube video and discovered that they are properly called Dango, then wrote a shopping list and went off to the shops.
We returned home and had lunch, then while Fliss slept Leni wanted to paint and to fill in the entire workbook bit of the Bob the Builder magazine she asked for in the shops.

Then when Fliss awoke we made dumplings, Leni ground sesame seeds and sugar while Fliss and I rolled them...they were odd, but delicious.

The washing up fairy visited while Leni watched TV and ate dumplings, then they played with the puppet theatre I picked up for £5 in a charity shop last week. We just ate, and Leni is painting again now while Fliss plays ball with the cat.I love how simple and sweet and joyful this way of living is.

Clarexxx

Gives up.

2011-01-04T03:35:00.000-08:00

So, we all feel heaps better today and after Chris and I spent a good half hour this morning explaining why Mama will go crazy if we never go out again Leni eventually agrees to going to the swings and the library.

Leni actually doesn't moan the whole way there!

In to the library, shed coats, arrange chairs, find a book, read a page...Lici yells for a wee wee. Collect coats etc off to the toilets. Lici screams no. Back to the library. Repeat three times until Mama feels like screaming but manages to remain calm and suggests swings.

Leni wants to go home. Lici wants to swing. We compromise so Lici can swing, this takes a while.

Lici starts screaming the second her bum hits the swing.

Ok. Home.

I just give up.

Clarexxx

Solstice

2010-12-27T04:46:00.000-08:00

As Chris can never get the actual day of the Solstice off work, we usually end up celebrating it on Christmas weekend...the lovely bonus to that being that we get to celebrate Solstice with family without it being odd!We have had a few inches of snow, which both were girls are not happy about. They enjoyed it when there was a sprinkling but didn't like it any deeper! We made time on the day of the Solstice to burn our Yule log on the stove. Fliss now considers me lighting the fire to be a good time to bring a blanket and settle in for a long feed, which probably means I need to slow down a bit.
On Saturday morning (it feels strange to call it Christmas morning as we're actually celebrating a delayed Solstice....) we began the day with apples and presents, then a walk to my Grandma and Grandad's house to see them and my Mum. We returned home to finish off our half of dinner preparations and so Fliss could nap then went off to dinner with Chris' parents and sister.Presents this year were very very pared down...woodland animals and a play scene for the littlies and a couple of stocking bits, books and a new purse for me, walking boots and an insulated mug for Chris. We usually go to my Mum's house for dinner but Chris' Nana is very ill and us being at his parents house cheers everyone up, well, Fliss and Leni do!

Sadly, Nana had fallen and he and his Dad spent a few hours at her house helping her and trying (unsucessfully) to get her to go in to hospital which obviously left us all sad and worried for the rest of the day and we are trying to care for her and enjoy Chris' time off...

Not the best of times as Nana comes to the end of her life, but I am thankful that she is here still and hopeful that we can ensure she feels the love of her family around her.

Clare xxx

DIY

2010-12-14T12:24:00.000-08:00

Really, most jobs are more fun with little people involved (or prentending to be jack-in-the-boxes in the bookcase you're putting together) even if they do take me longer.

Just reminding myself.

Clare xxx

Raaaaaaaaah!

2010-12-11T11:38:00.000-08:00

We spend a lot of time at the World Museum, they put on some amazing events from time to time. They totally outdid themselves this time though.

This is Rex, a 14 foot juvenile Tyrannosaurus Rex. Leni was in love.

It was made even better by the fact that Rex was being led around by Charles Darwin, one of Leni's very favourite people Half of Dan in this pic!

We also had the chance to go to a talk on Pterasaurs by the curator of Earth Sciences, which I found fascinating. Leni and friends enjoyed sitting up high and giggling...
Even more up Leni's street (she is endlessly fascinated by all things medical) the new special exhibition is on the Human Genome Project. A lot of it is over her head, but she loved comparing the Chimpanzee, Human and Neanderthal skeletons. Lici likes the revolving model of DNA :)
Clarexxx

Woodland Playgroup

2010-12-05T07:57:00.000-08:00

The house move has rather got in the way of me blogging about this, but over the last couple of months a group of friends have been having a wander and pot luck picnic in the woods on a Thursday. Despite 'pram wars' it has been so much fun and I have loved it. Hopefully we can use our new house as a spring board for many more as we're now less than two minutes away from the Old Railway I've blogged about before.I wish I could share more pictures, but most of them have other children in!

We have found interesting mushrooms, Leni especially enjoyed poking the puffballs 'to make their seeds flyyyyyyyyyyy!' got very very very muddy (Lici had to come home naked in the sling as she had written off all three of her changes of clothes!), eaten lots of soup and hummus, sung to trees, chatted, poked things with sticks and generally loved the Autumn.

Clarexxx

GP Meet

2010-11-15T13:35:00.000-08:00

I'm late with this, but as I have the excuse that we're moving house (and reeeeeeally aren't ready!) and I couldn't find the camera lead I'm letting myself off. I love blogging, but I have been pretty absent online for a while now due to some horrible stuff happening in my group of friends.

We always find the meets (4th one now!) an amazing combination of relaxing and inspiring. It is so wonderful to be with a big group of little wild people and it is such a great place to stay. Just what Chris and I needed to help us to destress before our move!

This time Leni has come home full of inviting 'JennaandMorganandRowan' (all in one breath) to stay when we move and has asked a few times if they can stay forever. I do think that the weekend and getting away helped her over the stuff I mentioned earlier, I'll blog about it at some point.

Lici and Rowan were playing a sweet baby game involving dribbling on all of the teaspoons!
Wonderful weekend, stark contrast to last weekend which we spent up to our eyeballs in paint!

Clarexxx

not back to school

2010-09-12T07:59:00.001-07:00

What a week!

We have had such a busy week that although every day would merit a post of its own I am having to do one giant one. In common with a lot of GP bloggers we are trying to have a bit more rhythm to our days. As we are autonomous my way of introducing things is just to do the myself and let the girls join in if they fancy it. It has been working well this week, more time together, less grouching and less tv.

On Monday and Tuesday we spent time crafting and drawing together, enjoying the new mornings of yoga, breakfast, baths and a walk that seem to bring such peace to our days. On Monday Leni and I spent a few hours making up stories to tell, on Tuesday we baked summer fruit crumble, bread and spent time sticking and sprinkling lentils everywhere!

Wednesday was the return of our lovely playgroup, after which we had a picnic in the park. It was quite strange for Leni to be the eldest there as the others have all started school, she was clearly finding it difficult to adjust, but hopefully next week it will be easier for her.

We had our not back to school picnic in Delamere Forest on Thursday, as always, I love spending time with other HE families. K and I kept being distracted by exciting fungi and the children found a fabulous den and had a war of some kind...Lici played with pine cones and sifted through leaf litter.

On Friday we enjoyed the quiet at the World Museum with HE friends, followed by a hen night for Lici and I (Leni enjoyed a night of Thomas the Tank 'stories from your head' with Papa!).

On Saturday my beautiful spirit sister got married to her partner of ten years and father of their lovely boys. Her wedding was everything that is fantastic about the group of women who are my tribe. The caterer had gastroenteritis, so we pulled together food for 150 and got it out on time, our daughters were bridesmaids, friends provided wonderful music, we danced, drank, ate, laughed and celebrated the love between this couple and the bond between friends.
Dancing my sweet girls to sleep to beautiful Senegalese music.

Clarexxx

Weekending

2010-08-23T00:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend we spent the Saturday up on the Old Railway (known locally as 'the Ralleh'...imagine that with a very scouse accent!), properly called the Loop Line. My Grandma's house backs on to it and when my sister and I were small Grandad would lift one of their fence panels and we'd scramble up the steep slope to the Ralleh to pick blackberries. When we got back, Grandma would have already made the pastry and we'd set up a production line for blackberry pies. Sadly, the last few years when we've been we have been the only ones picking.
Leni's dock finding skills always come in handy! Chris tends to wade into patches of nettles for some reason...
I love that some of the railway furniture is still there on the bridges over the roads. Its not always as well-kept as this bit, but it is so much fun to play on. As always, Leni is fascinated that there used to be trains and has piles of questions about it.Can I just remind you that we're in Central Liverpool here...gorgeous isn't it. Once Lici woke up she was overjoyed to see where we were, shrieking and giggling, pointing to each plant that caught her eye and asking if it is 'nana' (banana = all food). Just down from here we found a patch of teeny alpine strawberries, I was ridiculously excited!
Both girls really enjoyed eating the fruit as we walked, they both especially enjoyed the elderberries. Not many were ripe, but in a couple of weeks we will return as the harvest is going to be amazing!

On Sunday...preserving!

Hedgerow cordial in a small amount as I've not made it before. Here made from the strawberries that made it home, rosehips and elderberries. Its delicious...refreshing in the same way that cucumber is.
Most of the blackberry jam made it to the pots...Chris did keep coming in with a spoon to 'make sure' though!

Clarexxx

Tuesday

2010-08-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday we went down to Llangollen to visit my Mum's partner's (P) horse drawn boats...it is beautiful there and it was the first time Lici has been. We started at my Mum's boat and fed the ducks and watched someone do the longest, most disastrous turn in the history of canal boating. My Mum was just considering going out and turning it for them when Jones the boats (I know he sounds like an Ivor the engine character but that it his name!) came and did it for them.
On to the Wharf where we chatted to P and patted the horses before we went off for an hour on a horse drawn boat. Lici kept trying to climb over the side, but was very excited at hearing the 'clip clop' noises of Stanley the horse's hooves and was making them back. Leni pretended to be a foal.We enjoyed lunch at the Wharf cafe, they have improved their food and it is amazing now! Off home, stopping for a bit of blackberry picking on our way.
Once home...eeeeek...
That, is an entire bag of Dove's farm bread flour....but they did clear it up. However, the kitten (3 months old now..feels like he's been here forever!) got covered and had to be bathed, he quite enjoyed it really!
Clare xxx

Weekending

2010-08-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

We're trying to spend more weekends just knocking around at home at the moment, doing busy crafty type things together rather than feeling that we have to spend the whole time wooshing round!
We tried painting with watered down acrylic on cotton sheeting as seen on www.filthwizadry.com I quite like the result and am planning to do more to revamp some washed out clothes. If I am feeling really brave, one of my best friends is getting married next month (Leni is a bridesmaid!) and I might paint myself a skirt to wear...I need to be very comfortable as I'll be helping with a lot of setting out and organising.
As we're on an economy drive at the moment, instead of taking our usual Saturday trip to a local cafe we scrumped lavender from a retirement home's border...(well, it was sticking out into the street) and made lavendar biscuits. They were a resounding hit!
Today we all joined in on a canvas for our living room...Mama's mojo is back!

(yes, they are both refusing clothes at the moment!)

Clarexxx

Rainy summer

2010-08-14T00:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not usually the sort of person who retreats indoors in the face of a deluge, but Leni hates the rain so we have been mostly crafting, watching DVDs and making up complicated games involving the relationships between paintbrushes while in the bath...honestly, I think these two are mermaids. Especially as Leni can now climb in and out of the bath by herself, she's having several very long baths a day.

Granny Bev bought Leni a bed for her birthday (Leni had asked for one), they love playing in it, but noone has slept in it!
Lici helped me to make Leni's birthday cake!
We spent time at the Wildflower centre with HE friends.

Picking gooseberries at the allotment.

We've had quite a quiet few weeks really, I've not been feeling great...but I'm getting my mojo back now! Mostly due to exciting developments that mean we may well be moving to Hertfordshire...I have everything crossed!

Next time...lots of crochet.

Clarexxx

A day in the life of Leni...

2010-06-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

Every now and again I record one of our days in full. To do it every day is unrealistic, but dong it every few weeks is a great morale boost for me (especially to look back on on days like today...). So here is Leni's monday from last week.

She got up at 10am and ate chocolate cake for breakfast.

We read 'Room on the Broom' by Julia Donaldson. Leni then acted it out, she played the witch, Lici and I filled in the animals. Leni then decided that she would like the witch's outfit, so she collected her cloak and witch's hat, got a mixing bowl for a cauldron and helped me to make a broomstick from rolled up paper.

She watched 'Madagascar'

Lunchtime!

Painting, 'Madagascar' print outs.

Played with her train set.

Watched 'Madagascar' again.

Cooked lentil and vegetable soup. She chose the ingredients, peeled and chopped them. I lit the hob, Leni added stock and stirred the soup as it cooked. She also got me to ring the Papa to ask him to buy garlic bread from the deli on his way home.

She asked me about why they shoot Alex the lion in Madagascar and why he wasn't hurt. I explained about tranquilliser darts and why people use them when they're working with dangerous animals.

Leni then watched you tube vidoes of Darcy Bussel dancing.

We ate the soup and garlic bread together when the Papa got home.

Bed...the Papa read the first few chapters of Wind in the Willows to us.

Leni went to sleep at 11pm.

Clarexxx

Oye!

2010-06-21T05:03:00.000-07:00

As much as I moan about living in the city, I love it here and one of the big reasons for that is weekend like this one.

It just couldn't get better, a free African music festival...less than five minutes from our front door, a big group of hippies to spend the weekend with and some seriously delicious gambian veggie curry. Add in beautiful sunshine, fantastic music and my three very favourite people, maybe city living isn't so bad after all...Hippy camp! Lots of wild children and relaxed adults!

"Look...I've actually brought the potty to you Mother...now stop dancing and pull my trousers down!"
For once, Leni was ready to sleep before the Papa and me...It really was amazing. a huge improvement on last year...I highly reccomend it (and we have a spare room if anyone fancies it next year!).

Clare

Blissful long weekend.

2010-06-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

We returned today from four days at the commune a friend has not long moved to, a group of us travelled together, ate, slept and played together in the sun. Bliss. With very swanky compost toilets that puts ours at the allotment to shame!The girls and I arrived late on Thursday (nothing to do with my navigating, my friend put an extra '3' in the directions that sent us down the wrong A road!), threw up the yurt and collapsed!
On Friday we chatted, cooked together, let the children run free and laughed a lot. Papa arrived in the evening and out came the wine!
Saturday was spent at the lake. The pictures don't do it justice it is just so beautiful. It is glacial and very deep, clear and deliciously cool on such a hot day. We lit a fire, the kids toasted gooseberries (which was scrumptious), biscuits (which didn't work) and put potatoes in the ashes.
Wild swimming...how I long to be near enough to a lake to do this more often!
We made it back to the van today just before the rain hit!

Clarexxx

GP weekend!

2010-06-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

While the washing dries for a camping trip on Thursday, here is a selection from our weekend adventure!

Leni and Lici had a great time, and having the chance to relax with so many others who we share views with is just so refreshing for Chris and me. I got a lot of crochet done too!

I think that what I really value from these weekends is the time that the children have together, without adult help, interference or knowledge of what they are doing...
Leni informs me that here she and Morgan are playing 'cash machienes, no...erm, queuing'...

Lici is now signing a few things, mainly elephant but also milk, more, book, monkey, snake and lion...all the important things covered then!Chris really enjoyed making candles, once he gets started he loves crafts.

Clare

Sunny Sunday

2010-05-17T13:18:00.000-07:00

Are you bored yet of hearing me say how much I love our community allotment? We have been spending all day every Sunday there and it is just wonderful. Pot luck lunch with friends, some gardening, much chatting and drinking of fresh lemon balm tea, some salad munching...and lots of marvelling at how tropical the polytunnel is! We have a fennel plant in there taller than me!

Isn't permaculture gorgeous!?!
On the permaculture half of the plot the berries (red, white and blackcurrants, gooseberries and strawberries by the ton!) are on the bushes, rhubarb is shooting up and we're enjoying wild garlic flowers...it just makes me happy, the girls enjoy it and the Papa enjoys the change from being sat in an office!Hurray for soup, bread and apples!
Then home again for stir fry, piano playing, face painting and clay.
Well, it makes for tired out little girls!

Clarexxx

An autonomous working week!

2010-05-16T00:35:00.000-07:00

On Monday, we made peg dolls, played with clay, painted and watched a lot of DVDs...
Tuesday was a day spent in the enormous garden of a friend's house.
Wednesday was playgroup then lunch at another friend's house.

On Thursday we spent the morning at the Conservation Centre with some HE friends, a couple of hours in St John's gardens, then went to the World Museum until it closed with our autonomous friend, then back to their house until 7pm...exhausting!
Friday, playgroup again in the morning, reading, imaginary games, DVDs, general playing and dressing up.

Leni has also recently (very!) begun to do representational drawing...here is a picture of herself doing a toss over...her very first drawing that is meant to be anything in particular. In her usual way, she waits until she is certain that she can do something before actually trying it, which makes for a long period where nothing seems to change, then she does ten things really well all at once!
I thought that I would end the blog with my thoughts on how this RU thing is working for us. Practically, Leni has been going to bed between 9 and 10pm which gives us a real evening to spend with the Papa and time in the morning to get ready before she is awake. We have had so much fun, only one incident of real grumpiness (on Thursday because she was exhausted!) and I am much more relaxed. Leni's diet has been reasonable, including probably as much variety as usual, just at different times. The DVD watching, well it is a LOT but it seems to be stimulating lots of imagination games (at the moment she is playing 'The Enormous Crocodile' with the Papa and Lici on the bed, Leni is the Roly Poly bird and she has just laid some eggs) and I am able to enjoy the now confidently walking Lici's time when Leni wants to watch something...

I would love (in my fantasy life!) to keep to the entire ethos of The Mother, I do adore the magazine and there is so much in there that I want for my family. I have however, realised two things. When I talk about it, I use the phrase 'I want for my family'...ignoring how much fun they get out of things that don't fit and, well, how controlling do you get!?! Secondly, well sort of as its mostly the same point made in a different way...TM is MY ideal, it isn't quite the Papa's and it probably won't be Leni and Lici's and I believe that working together is the way to a good relationship with other people and RU gives us a way to do this now rather than feeling that I have to wait until the girls have reached some arbitrary age where they can be given responsibility, or until they have had it with me controlling them and rebel.

Clarexxx

Clare

Autonomy

2010-05-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

The first book I read about autonomous learning was 'Doing it their way' by Jan Fortune-Wood and it sounded awful. Autonomy was something I was very interested in, but her real life examples featuring a TV in every room of the house, children copying the designs of weapons from their computer games...well, it sounded so far away from what I want for my family.

Last week I asked a few questions of some of the autonomous educators on mumsnet (I use their HE section) and was reccomended the website www.joyfullyrejoycing.com. I highly reccomend the site, it is full of real life ways of working in partnership with children, the practical everyday conflict resolution that was missing from Jan F-W's book. I then spent every spare moment I had for two days reading the entire website, then Chris read it over the weekend and since then we have been working together autonomously.

Leni has been so much happier, no battles of will...and no, we haven't had DVDs 24/7. We have had a lot of them on, but if I am doing something interesting and invite her to join in, over she comes. Lici shows no interest in DVDs, except if some music comes on, when she stands up and does her baby-dance while laughing as I copy her. Leni is going to bed very very very late (between 10 and 11pm) and has learnt to fall asleep while reading with Chris, having had her milk earlier in the evening. She has done her first representational drawing, we have read a lot, spent a day at the museum, she has eaten lots of biscuits and lots of bananas...and we are all happier.

More than that, I can see how autonomy works to help her grow. It is stretching me, making me aknowledge with every moment that she is herself, unfolding and on her own path. I am blessed to walk alongside her for a while, but autonomy means she is already going her own way. Her own, 2-baths-a-day, singing, dressing up, acting out DVDs and jumping from high places way.

Clarexxx

Lici's tree

2010-04-25T09:52:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we planted Lici's placenta and an organic cherry tree to be nourished by it. As usual, lots of friends at the community allotment to share this with us and to share memories of my pregnancy and Lici's vanishing babyhood.

We shared lunch together, including lots of salad from the polytunnel and wild garlic from the permaculture part of the allotment. The herbs are all doing wonderfully too...I have a freezer full of rosemary, and Lici has been enjoying toddling around picking chives and lemon balm to munch on. We are planning a mini-cucumber patch for the babies to forage from!

Granny Bev (my lovely Mama) has been joining in at the allotment too, planting green manure a few weeks ago then planting leeks, beetroot, coriander and courgettes...and enjoying the sunshine, swing and slide with her grandbabies.A quick addition...LOOOOOOOK! I crocheted a vest for Lici....and it worked!!!! Last Thursday, Leni ran into the bedroom having been very quiet in the playroom for a very long time...and we met Elliot (another of her characters!), who appeared wearing a black skirt of mine from my fabric box over his head and asked me to make it into a cloak...an hour later he had his cloak and he has been around a lot ever since!
Clare

Holidays!

2010-04-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

We have just returned from a fabulous ten day trip to stay with my Dad...we had so much fun, beautiful weather, stunning countryside and I just feel refreshed. As always, we love having the Papa with us all day every day, we spent a lot of time enjoying the outdoors and we had a great time visiting the Tate Modern and the National Portrait Gallery. I have come over all inspired, both by nature and the work of so many artists.Enjoying a rare (for me!) coffee outside covent garden, Leni had a lot of fun watching the street theatre...and has since been enjoying giving us 'shows' on a twice daily basis...including passing round a hat at the end!
Spending time outdoors, Lici did enjoy tasting grass, soil and everything else she could find and Leni as usual loved the vast amount of space for running that my Dad has!

Well, what better way to round of our tiring, full and wonderful days...
Since we returned things have been a little crazy-busy, lots of time at the allotment with friends. Life at the moment is so amazing...Lici is just about walking and very pleased with herself, I am in turns, immersed in coursework, veg growing,crochet and thinking about artwork.

Clarexxx

Feeling a little stunned...

2010-03-22T08:47:00.000-07:00

I am not a new age type of person, I have, well a healthy cynicism about most new age spiritual things until convinced otherwise so it is very unlike me to have found myself having an energy healing on saturday. There are healing days local to us four times a year and I had planned on getting a massage, but the therapist was not available and the energy healer had a cancellation and I thought that it couldn't hurt and the treatments are all very cheap just for the healing day...

So, I was lying back listening to live harp music in candlelight (all lovely and relaxing!) thinking to myself "well, if this does turn out to be a crock at least it was only a tenner" when I thought the healer was touching my upper stomach bit so opened my eyes...and erm, she wasn't. I thought this was interesting, but carried on relaxing and felt a gradual build of almost a sucking sensation there, which wasn't either pleasant or relaxing, but you know, I'll go with it. I can really only describe the feeling as a feeling as though a really painful spot I didn't know I had was being squeezed...I know, horrid.

On chatting to the therapist afterwards she said she had removed a blockage in my solar plexus ("my what?") which she felt was related to comfort eating and me not liking myself very much...

Well, since then (wether it is the placebo effect or not I actually don't care!) I have not eaten any chocolate and more miraculously for me....I have only eaten when I feel hungry, haven't spent time stressing about either chocolate or hunger...and well, its flipping amazing...

Clare

On turning one...

2010-03-15T05:33:00.000-07:00

Felicity's sunshine has been so amazing to watch this last year. We are so priviledged to have such a happy soul in our family, she is so sociable, cheerful and funny. Her light refreshes me and I can't get enough of those dribbly baby kisses she is so generous with. Happy birthday sunshine girl, we love you.Four days before she was born, enjoying a walk along the river.First feed.
A year of tandem feeding! A year of watching their relationship develop, holding hands while they feed, sharing the same breast, pulling hair to unlatch Leni and falling asleep together.Jumping and tickling!
Raw raspberry and white chocolate cake at her first birthday party! Giggling at the candle...

We can't wait to share your next year!

Clare

Spring!

2010-03-08T04:33:00.000-08:00

We're really feeling it here! Beautiful weather, crocuses everywhere and tiny frogs too! The Papa took two days off last week which was wonderful, as much as I value his work that allows me to be at home I do wish we had more time together. So, on wednesday we spent the morning at playgroup then all wandered over to a local thai restaurant to have a birthday lunch for V. Tofu penang...utterly delicious and Leni enjoyed sharing her Papa's pad thai and having spring rolls. It is a lovely restaurant and it was great to spend the afternoon with our friends.Thursday we planned a family-only day...so we ambled to the garden centre to pick up herb seeds and some hyacinths as Leni really wanted some flowers, then we planted together in some lovely pots that really appealed to Leni and Lici too!
After quickly whizzing together some spelt dough we enjoyed the beautiful walk over the park to the library where Leni and Lici chose their books while the Papa browsed the audio books (he has discovered we can download them from the library online and is very happy!). Lici loves the touchy-feely books and our library has a great selection. As usual, Leni decided on a wide selection including a maths book aimed at 10+ year olds and an alphabet book by Neil Gaiman (a good choice as I love his writing and am happy to read it again and again!). On our way home we pass a few antique shops and when I saw a lovely baby/toddler rocking horse which must be 1950s or earlier and cost me £10. That just rounds off Lici's birthday presents perfectly and I would have paid up to £30! Then home for spelt based vegan pizza and vegan coleslaw...delicious and a huge treat.I was at a workshop on friday, exhausting but great fun...especially for Leni and Lici who enjoyed playing with the other children!

Swimming as usual on saturday morning, Lici's confidence in the water is so exciting to watch. Our local pool starts off at around an inch deep which I love as it allows her to explore the water at her own pace...Leni enjoys the little slide and loves riding on our backs as we swim. We spent the afternoon at a friend's house, the Mamas (and Papa, although he sketches) knitting and chatting and drinking rooibos while the little ones played in the garden. So good to have chance to create in good company.

Sunday began with a visit to the lovely community allotment for a planning meeting. After tea and my carrot and raisin muffins we started pulling up some old tarpulin and found...about ten tiny frogs! The children were fascinated and we gently moved them into the pond, where they will (we hope!) get busily making frogspawn and eating all our slugs! The allotment is a vegan and organic space and this year things are getting really exciting...we are planning comfrey beds which we will fertilise using the composting toilet and then use the comfrey on our veg. We are planning a communal giant salad bed so I can see lots of green juice in our future!
In the afternoon we had a concert to go to...space themed, and compered by a percussionist playing Dr Who. The highlight was his playing 'Clair de Lune' on the glass harmonica accompanied by the orchestra. Leni really enjoys this children's series, it was an amazing present from my Mum. Having a box means that Lici has fun crawling around too!
After all of that...spending an evening reading while the little ones sleep. Lici has taken to flopping herself around after nursing to sleep!We're spending today resting, ready for the delightful business to come during the rest of the week...including plenty of cake baking in aid of Lici's first birthday!

Clare

On unschooling and rythms

2010-03-02T07:46:00.000-08:00

I have been reading a little about Waldorf education lately and have been cherry-picking things from that set of ideas that I think would be of benefit to us. One of these is the rythms that they set into each day. Whilest I am happiest with taking every day as it comes and doing odd things at odd times, Leni particularly likes to know the way her day will fit together.

So, I have instituted almost-daily yoga. Almost because there are two days each week that we need to be out early for playgroup. I thought it would do two things at once, help Leni to begin the day without too much stress and make sure that I have time for yoga. Leni declares the triangle to be her favourite and has been demonstrating it and a few others to everyone she can get to listen to her...including a HE friend's Mama who is a yoga teacher! Leni was terribly impressed by her showing us some of the more advanced poses!
After a few weeks of doing it in the condensation on thw windows, Leni has started using pens to write her name! Not exactly sure how she has learned this...possibly she has been watching me more closely than I thought!
Other things we have been talking about this week are; blood, circulation and the heart, yeast and what it does, boiling and how steam engines work...Watching these two play alongside each other is wonderful, Lici exploring the texture (and taste..bleugh!) of flour and the noises things being banged on pans make, Leni cooking soup, cheese and sausages. The fact that I have also knitted about 15 rows today is a happy side effect!

Clare

Loved up

2010-02-25T06:05:00.000-08:00

This week I am mostly feeling in love with the world. Despite a few blips, clothes shopping issues (serves me right for asking for advice from my very glamorous sister!) and Leni's reluctance to leave the house things are very good here.
We have spent our days reading, playing, cooking and relaxing together, not doing much of any consequence but there are quite a few things in the planning stages! Finally, the Papa has some time off booked for next week, we'll be spending one day with friends celebrating a birthday and the other day we'll be off to a local garden centre to get some growing going at home. I am planning a pot herb garden here, to compliment the things we do at the community allotment we work on through Transition towns South Liverpool.Anyway, I thought I'd share some of the things that I have been loving this week.Leni's 'little beds', here made from the Papa's parka and a blanket, in the hall. Leni sets herself up a bed frequently, she has never gone to sleep in one of these, but it is one of the games she has been playing for a long time.
A one pint mug of Pukka organic herbal tea (clarity!) and a book. The time to drink one and read the other. The beautiful man who found the pint mug and just knew it should be mine.
Spring on the nature trolley! Lovely books, animals, the box from the booja booja truffles that my Mum bought for me last Ostara and the first catkin. The 'Spring Equinox' book is fantastic, it starts with a look at lots of different spring festivals across the world and history and ends with the story of Ostara and the hare...Leni loves this story and has been talking a lot about saving the hare and that the hare might bring her an egg...Brambly Hedge, I love it. We re-created Wilfred's birthday meal for Imbolc! The other two nature/science books are great reditions of life cycles, beautiful illustrations.
This little pixie's love affair with cucumber and the aerobatics that have led her to the booster seat rather than the high chair...really, she was bonkers. High chairs are the only piece of baby equipment we own, I can't cope with having a weaning baby's food smeared all over me.
The way our living room looks at the end of the day, strewn with books, games, dolls, dressing up clothes and part of the hoover (for some reason?!?). Good signs that I have been busy playing. I love this mess.

Clarexxx

On a go slow...

2010-02-18T04:40:00.000-08:00

I am being visited by a chest infection...so we havn't been up to much this week. I have had asthma since childhood and whenever I get a chest infection it is accompanied by my asthma going from non-existant to horrible.

At the moment, I am fine as long as I don't move or talk too much...yes, I know, sounds impossible and it is. My coping strategies include playdough, audio books, board games and music for Leni to dance to, but still, its rubbish! I don't take any drugs for my asthma, I know it'll be fine in two weeks whether I take anything or not, it is tough for Leni though as she just can't understand why I can't read books to her without coughing so much I throw up...
Onwards though...to the Lici enjoying a raw almond curry this lunchtime and Leni 'making sausages'. Lici really does love her raw food, she manages the sauces by chasing them around her fists and spends hours munching on raw carrots...it is lovely to see her enjoying food that is so full of great stuff...Leni is more difficult, raw fruit she will eat until, well, until we run out...but she is more fussy about raw veg. Still, it will come.

This raw food journey is really enjoyable, I know I have more energy and find chocolate a little easier to resist too!

Food shopping...finding a balance on a low income

2010-02-16T02:27:00.000-08:00

Over the last week or so, partly from emails with Gina, partly because I was thinking about it anyway I've been examining our food buying closely. In an ideal world we would be able to afford to buy everything from a vegetarian organic food co-cop shop that is near to us. Sadly, until we get this last bit of the Papa's student overdraft paid off, we can't. It has taken me a long time to be happy with our diet and where we buy our food, but I'm there now and thought I'd share it.
All our fruit and veg comes from a local (very local, its four doors down!) greengrocers. Most of the food there is local and a lot of it is organic without the certification...in the summer, most of it comes from the owners' garden! I love this grocers, it is very old fashioned, Rob or Joy serves you, collecting all the produce, packing it into my trolley and adding up the bill by hand. As a regular, they knock a bit off or give me something extra as well as a good chat...and often a handful of grapes for Leni. So here is this weeks haul, which cost £16.40...we'll top up with another few quid of fruit halfway through the weekSo, 6 apples, 6 pears, a melon, 6 red onions, 3 bunches of carrots, a cucumber, 2 punnets of tomatoes, button mushrooms, 2 avocados, spinach, 2 peppers.

For everything else, we do shop at the co-op and as I'm a bit flush this week a few extra treats (cardamon mustard...yuuuuuuuum!) adds up to £25...
And here, almonds, 3 tins of tomatoes, dates, blackstrap molasses, jam, sunflower seeds, cardamon mustard, yeast toothpaste, sultanas, moong beans, herbal tea and spelt flour...no need to stock up on carbs this week, that was last week's shop!

So, this week's shop will be an expensive £45 after the top up of fruit...usually it's £10-£15 cheaper. I am pleased with the way our eating is going at the moment, eating all raw (for me) 3 days a week and having a cooked dinner on the other two. Leni is having the same as I do with the addition of cooked porridge in the mornings and a carb of some kind with her lunch and dinner on the days that dinner is raw.

Now to kick that chocolate problem into touch...hopefully the vegan and almost raw version of nutella I have made will help!

Unschooling...a Leni related post.

2010-02-09T06:34:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about home ed over the last week or so, mainly because the Papa spent a stressful half hour car ride home from work being quizzed about it by a colleague's partner. I wobble occasionally about our haphazard approach to life, I worry about the audio books Leni listens to while I blog or post, I worry that I don't 'do' enough with her, that I spend too much time doing my own thing etc etc etc. Then I have a couple of days that show me just how right things are. That haphazard is exactly what Leni needs at the moment, that it works and that more importantly her love of life and learning are intact and that she has the ability to find out exactly what she needs to know at any point, without any artificial teaching.So, on our trip to the museum with an unschooled friend...she talked about spider webs and why spiders make webs.They used a microscope to look at bones, shells and compared their finger prints.And of course a long role play game based around this Roman Tiger in the wonderful 'hands on' area.

Well, it is easy to be relaxed about unschooling when they are in such an obviously educational and stimulating environment...so today beautiful Leni has been...
Pretending to be a bat...and then finding about what bats eat and what their wings are like, and clearing up a bit of confusion about whether bats lay eggs or not.

Finally, she is as I type listening to audio stories (mostly Grimm's fairy tales) and honing her 'fine motor skills'...or possibly just enjoying scattering teeeeeny bits of shiny green card around the playroom!
Well, nothing to worry about here then.

Now I've got that out of the way...

2010-02-04T05:59:00.000-08:00

That hit me quite hard really, considering that there wasn't really a trigger.

Still, onwards...

Thank you Sarah for the parcel, it arrived yesterday and Leni loved her letter from Jenna! We will be making butterfly biscuits at the weekend as the Papa loves making biscuits and wants to help. We're thinking of all of you and wish we lived closer...Leni keeps asking if JennaandMorganandRowan can come to her house and bounce on her trampoline!

Given that the rain and Lici's horrendous cold are keeping us fairly housebound this week we have been busy. AT the moment Leni is loving the 'Three Billy Goats Gruff' and wanted to play with them...blessed as we are with such a talented Papa...

Hours of fun!

Leni is making a lot of bridges at the moment...which we all have to cross while saying 'trip trap trip trap', honestly I couldn't think up activities for her as well as she does for herself. Yes, those are back issues of 'The Mother' making up part of it, I was flicking through the recipes!

Over Christmas we saw 'The Wizard of Oz' at the Philharmonic, with the music being played by the orchestra. Both girls loved it, Lici enjoyed the music and was clapping a lot. It has prompted a lot of pretending games, mostly Leni being Glenda the Good Witch...who had to have a wand...

Well, just because I love them. My rough and tumble second born and her gorgeous Papa...she likes to jump on people's heads, he is only to happy to let her.

We had a lot of fun at Home Ed group yesterday, we went to a soft play together. I haven't taken Leni to one before and she really enjoyed it! Round to a friend's house for a while afterwards, S is 18mths older than Leni but they are both all about the imaginative play so they are perfect together and I had a great chat. Leni has had some lovely clothes handed down too!

We are making more of an effort with raw now, I am planning all raw (for me) during the daytime and a few raw dinners each week as well. Lici seems to prefer her fruit and veg raw...she will not touch cooked broccoli but loves it raw (I feel the same!). She quite likes sprouted things too. I am being gentle with myself though, too many times I have set myself food goals that are unrealistic for me and have too much of an effect on my ability to function. I seem to have found a level I am comfortable with for now, I'll push it when I am ready.

Clarexxx

Hoicking myself up...

2010-01-25T08:28:00.001-08:00

To share the results of a little charity shop shopping! I go around every eight weeks to make sure they have time to turn stock around...I was looking for a table, but if you will tell me I can fill a bag with books for 99p...
The cat's cradle book is amazing! There must be 50+ variations in there, with a section on the history of string games...riveting, I had no idea that anthropologists have used them to trace migrations...I was impressed at finding 'Taking Charge...' and have been boning up for when my periods return, although it was 23mths after Leni!

Even better than a table for my nature/seasons table...a 1930's trolley (£5!!!!!!!) so I can have a shelf for things Lici could swallow at the top, one for the things they can both have and one to keep seasonal books on. My Mum is pretty sure that its teak...it is beautiful.
Clarexxx

While Mama hibernates...

2010-01-19T07:37:00.000-08:00

Feeling low this week...so I'm not up to much, but just look at these girlies...
Just wish I could be enjoying it more myself.

Clarexxx

Days like this...

2010-01-13T08:21:00.000-08:00

This week the cabin fever has abated and I have had a little more energy!

So we have spent a lot of time cooking hearty stews, soups, curries...and banana bread. Banana bread is made frequently in our house and the recipie I use was orginally from Vegan Planet but has been refined and refine....now I make it with wholemeal flour, agave and lots of spices, which means we can all enjoy it and know that it is doing us good!

Lici tried her first green smoothie this week, I make them a couple of times a week as I love them and I love the extra iron for my girls. Our favourite is a pear, two handfulls of spinach and enough water to make it drinkable...not to self though, white tops and green smoothies for 10 month old girls do not go together...
We are really in hibernation here (lots more snow today!) so we're enjoying lots of reading and www.storynory.com when I start to flag, dinosaur jigsaws and very very very long baths...I do think that these girls would be totally acquatic given a chance...two hour baths are really quite normal, although Leni does get grumpy about Lici weeing in the bath!
Today, finally we were back at our lovely hippy playgroup...Leni had a brilliant time with a friend, riding bikes and jumping and twirling. Lici was feeling a little more cuddly than usual as we have had a long winter break, but eventually warmed up to things again to play and hold court with the adoring toddlers! After playgroup we went to a lovely cafe near us for homemade vegan burgers, chunky chips and gingerbread decaf soya lattes...a big treat, but not as much fun as seeing the lovely girls again. It is great to have friends who have the same parenting and life aims as I do, although one of us is missing in hospital at the moment...thinking of you love and we all can't wait to see you soon.

Clarexxx

Revolutions

2010-01-07T01:54:00.000-08:00

I haven't really ever been into the idea of making new year resolutions, but this year I have a few...goals rather than things I am actually resolute about.

1. Complete my La Leche training
2. Craft, a lot
3. Blog more often, blogging helps me to think
4. Eat vegan (going very well so far!)
5. Walk more
6. Try to figure out exactly where Papa and I are going with our lives
7. Buy only handmade or pre-loved

I don't include the ongoing parenting type things, like continuing to constantly re-read 'Unconditional Discipline' and work at putting it into practice, I don't need to motivate myself with these the same way I do with other things. Also I don't feel that parenting has goals as such...other than my vague, very long term aim to work myself out of my job as a Mama...it is much more of a relaxed, dealing-with things as they come up type of life.

I have good feelings about 2010 in general, partly just my natural optomism, partly because the Papa and I will be celebrating our 10th year together this summer (only annoying thing about saying that is that people assume I'm older than I am!) and also I am really looking forward to watching Lici becoming more fully herself as a toddler this year and I can't wait to see what Leni has up her sleeve for us this year!

I am hoping that this year I will be - challenged by wonderful Leni, shown how to be present by the lovely Lici, able to walk with them as they grow without interfering, outside more (at least once the ice clears up!), more loving with the Papa, more relaxed with the Papa's family, able to focus on the things that I want to get done that are very important to me, to continue protesting about things I care about and living as greenly as I am able to.

I fear that this year home education restrictions will come into force just when Leni would be going to school. I fear that my very relaxed way of being with my children and my commitment to unschooling will be judged badly...and I don't have it in me to do structure. I fear that my past will cause LEA officials to believe my children to be at risk if they are not in school education and that I will not be able to convey that my past is exactly what makes me so confident in my ability.

To end on a positive, I would like to share the event that has had the most impact on me. The event that has allowed me to become the person I am and has let me know that I really can do anything.

I was physically and emotionally abused by my step-father from the ages of 3 to 18 when I left home. Aged 16, ten years ago this year I calmly, loudly and seriously let him know that he could do whatever he wanted to do to me, he was not going to break my will.

It might not sound positive, but it is the thought I start each year with. Look where I have been and just imagine where I am going.

Holidaying

2010-01-06T04:57:00.000-08:00

For us, the holidays began on Solstice, with a special meal and a snowy evening walk followed by a ritual. We do also celebrate Christmas, in a totally secular way so we enjoyed our presents in the morning with homemade marmalade muffins and Christmas tea. This year our presents were all either pre-loved or handmade. Lici's favourite has been a (charity shop find!) tambourine, Leni has been loving the paperpod doll's house decorated by Chris and I...

After a leisurely morning we spent time with my Gran and Grandad, then enjoyed lunch at my Mum's house. As usual, she went overboard with presents...but then I have nearly finished my pile of books so perhaps not *that* overboard...We have enjoyed so much time together this holidays, peaceful time together spent reading, knitting, drawing, playing, concert going, walking and mostly loving. Leni is nursing less now, so these moments become more precious daily (I say 'less' I mean between 2 and 5 times a day)...
Look who is upwardly mobile!

And finally, these two are so enjoying each other's company and cuddles these days.Clarexxx

Snowy days...

2010-01-06T04:49:00.001-08:00

The Papa has been off work due to snow...hurray!

However, the combination of teething Lici, Leni being so skinny that 5 layers including snowsuit and she's still freezing and my lack of balance due to my sensory-neural issues (the ones that cause my hearing loss) mean that we are well and truely stuck at home.

The lovely Papa nipped out for soy milk earlier...the baker over the road stocks it cause we asked very very nicely and just look what he brought for us!!!!

So we made 'Frosty the indoor snowman', who had a second incarnation (when the Lici finally got his carrot nose to eat!) as a Snow King.

And this afternoon...vegetable soup (my Mum's recipie), vegan sugar free chocolate pudding (adapted by me), knitting, books and snuggling under blankets.

Chris, you are marvellous, thank you for bringing the beautiful winter in to us.

Clarexxx

Firsts!

2009-12-15T01:20:00.000-08:00

So much has been happening here over the last eight weeks or so...never enough time to blog!

The GP weekend was fabulous...and I want to wave to Sarah and say thank you to you and Gina for both giving me the last bit of oomph I needed to get to full-time EC. Watching Sarah with her girls is always inspirational for me and Gina's EC article in the mother has really stuck in my mind...especially the bit about doing things bravely. The Monday we returned home was the last time Lici wore a nappy. We are having great success, only one miss a day usually (a couple more in the last few days as she started crawling on Sunday, but that'll sort itself out in a few days) and no misses while we're out.

Lici amazes me, she does not pee on the bus...she might tell me every two minutes on a 30min journey that she needs to pee, but waits til we're off the bus! Success at nights is mixed, depending on how awake I am feeling, but she only goes once overnight!

She is also eating a bit now, mostly melon, but it does seem to have clicked with her now and she is finally properly interested. So much fun watching her try new things...and crawling too!

Leni has begun to write, one of her favourite things to do at the moment is to ask me to 'draw' letters for her to copy. She is also enjoying the penguins that are dotted around Liverpool this winter. She is challenging at the moment, getting very very tired but waking every day before 5am and refusing to sleep during the daytime...you can imagine the screaming I'm sure!

In fabulous news, we now have a branch of the Co-op five minutes away! I am so glad, it has been a stretch lately to continue doing all my shopping at out local health food shop...and I am so pleased to be able to shop at the Co-op! It has really cut our shopping bill down and I'm very impressed with their fruit and veg too...they don't stock tofu though...

Craft days and unconditional parenting

2009-10-03T22:38:00.000-07:00

I'd love to be organised enough to actually have a day each week where we concentrate on crafty things, but the way our unschooling is developing is very ad hoc. I'm pretty happy with this, but it does make it difficult to actually plan things...but it does mean I'm getting good at thinking on my feet when Leni suddenly asks to make...crowns for example.

I love the way our style of unschooling develops with both Leni's, the Papa's and my personalities. With Chris, Leni does tend to be more focused and copies him a lot...with me things tend to be more us working alongside each other and they happen at very odd times, often crafting in our jammies straight after breakfast or in between doing our teeth and going to bed.

I finally got my hands on a copy of unconditional parenting this week and raced through it, then went back and re-read the things I thought were really important. Leni has been a challenge lately, she's been nagging a LOT and screeching (not crying!) if things don't go her way. I am glad to report that the discussing rather than explaining is making an impact, she is taking more care of her flailing arms and legs and the book gave me the kick up the bum I needed to make sure I do say yes as much as I can.

I am still running into problems with television though. Our no-tv went a bit out of the window when Lici was born, we then tried a 'one thing a day' which simply caused screeching all day...now we are explaining that I get very bored and grumpy if we stay in all day watching tv and can we think together of something else to do...which works erratically but at least doesn't cause any upset. We're still watching more tv than I'd like, but Leni is using it as something to do while I spend (many hours a day!) time rocking and nursing Lici to sleep and often that is the time when I can't get her to do anything else.

So it seems as though she is using it as something to do while my attention is necessarily elsewhere, I can't NOT get the baby to sleep after all. I will be attempting to replace it with reading but she gets very cross that I have to interrupt reading to swap sides or run across the room or one of the other little things that help Lici get to sleep. It is a work in progress, I just long for the day when our only tv watching is something that we all enjoy at a time where we don't have anything more fun to do! However, in the spirit of putting the relationship first, I will bear with the irritation and keep gently trying to direct Leni to more useful things.

Clarexxx

Thoughts about food and the usual random stuff too.

2009-09-02T02:08:00.000-07:00

I am embarking on a clean up of my diet...I actually eat an alarmingly healthy diet, but only while Leni is awake! As soon as she is asleep out comes the cr*p and DH and I eat junk during the evening. It needs to stop! Autumn is a good time for me to do this, as I love autumn vegetables so hopefully that will help. I have been very 'strict' with Leni about food and she does eat very well...she only has refined sugar (sugar is my downfall!) when she's at other people's birthday parties and I try to limit my use of agave for treats.

I have always had a troubled relationship with food, by all accounts I lived on Dairy lea butties and crisps as a toddler...I cried when I first saw gravy on my food...aged 7 years. My evil step-father didn't help, by insisting we finished our food or it'd be served cold for our next meal (yes, even if it would be in the fridge over night...yuck), for several years I ate my meals in the garage due to awful table manners (caused by my nerves at meal times). No surprise then that I became bulimic...finally a way to control what I ate!

I lost a LOT of weight and became a very slim teenager...when my Mum finally saw sens and kicked him out...overeating came in! It was a very stressful time, he stalked us (including the Papa), broke my Mum's wrist, and refused us access to the house to get our things out. We (my Mum, sister and me) lived in my Grandma's tiny house...and I failed my first year of university and dropped out.

Anyway, all of this has resulted in me having quite a strange relationship with food...I have absolutely no idea when I am full and am a huge comfort eater. Incidentally, my BMI isn't too bad..I'm overweight but not obese. So, you can perhaps understand just how tough packing in the chocolate is going to be for me! Still, I will do it, I'm not having the girls see me either permanently on a diet that fails, or getting more and more obese.

Anyway, on to lighter things....for example...look at this happy little Flissy (in a fabulous hand-me-down from Gina!). She's such a giggly happy little critter, although we've had a few grumps lately when Leni has days where she constantly wakes Lici up! She can sit up!!!! Oddly, at around the same age as Leni...Lici will be starting on solids in a few weeks time...she's lucky to be doing it in Autumn I think, lots of organic english fruit for sucking!

I do baby led weaning, in an incredibly haphazard way (as though I could do anything organised-ly)...I started offering Leni food at about 6.5mths, just ripe fruit when I was having some and she was awake. I intend to do the same with Lici, then we'll start offering every day after a month or two depending on how she takes to it. She'll then start having the veg from our dinner and eventually more fruit for breakfast. We don't do grains til over a year and around 18mths we'll just be givig her some of what we're having served the same as ours.

I do like a very slow start to solids, both to ensure that breastfeeding continues to be the main source of nutrition and because we are a very allergicky family. I think the slow start also helps me to relax about it too, which has been very important in my bid not to pass on my food oddness!

Clarexxx

A new path...

2009-08-28T06:57:00.000-07:00

I was a very spiritual teenager, I read obsessively too, both were a brilliant means of escape from my awful family life at the time. When things changed, spirituality became less important to me and I ended up as a generic and quite apathetic pagan. Since Lici's birth I have begun to feel an urge for a more structured study, for a way of bringing paganism into my family's life both more fully and in a more earthy and practical way.

I have started on the path with the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids! It feels really right to me, just exactly what would fit perfectly into my life and with my family. So it seems very appropirate that my first burst of Awen (divine inspiration..wiki it for a better explanation) takes the form of a poem for my beautiful Felicity...

To Felicity - not quite of this world.

Newly born, sleeping and suckling
the scent of your birth on my skin.
Little mammal, otherworldly, still not quite born.
Remember this magic.
Hold within yourself the dark quiet of my womb,
the deep calm power of your birth.

Sleep in the grove my love,
curl your toes in the soft leaves and damp earth.
Feel bark, rough and smooth,
dance with the breeze in their branches.
Show me how.

Clarexxx

Summer

2009-08-25T06:19:00.000-07:00

I was worried about having not enough to do this summer...how would I survive without my lovely playgroup?! It hasn't been a problem though in the end, we've had some lovely days and a blissful week in the Kent countryside staying at my Dad's.

We have spent every day that has been pleasant enough in the park, Leni has enjoyed using twigs as microphones and singing at the top of her voice...and feeding grass to ducks. She is becoming so much more confident with other children now, I'm so happy, it feels like it has taken her such a long time, but to have allowed her to get there in her own way and her own time has been wonderful. Leni really has blossomed in the last year, I can see her becoming more herself every day and it really does comfirm that the choices I have made have been the right ones.

I am starting to get a lot of 'oooo...nursery in September' comments, having to work out a simple explanation of HE is taking me some time, but I am very fortunate to have such a supportive husband and Mum behind me! My Mum is an autism-specialist teacher, having worked in mainstream education since my sister and I started school (20 years ago now!) and a lover of Montessori and autonomous education too! Beatiful Felicity...well, we couldn't have chosen a better name for her. She is a ray of sunshine...where Leni is intense, stormy and challenging, Lici is chilled, happy, relaxed...the universe really is looking after me, both of my children have been exactly the people that would stretch, challenge and fit perfectly when they came along.
I needed the challenge Helena brought when she came, I needed a baby who would give me the push I needed to develop both into a gentle parent and into a more caring and aware person. As, well, 'proof' is the word, but really I just want to let the world know how much has changed in the last three years...I've become a very strict vegetarian, we eat organic and sugar free, we buy fair trade, our clothes are either handmade, ethical or second hand, we don't use commercial cleaning products, we don't use commercially made toiletries, our home is mainly decorated using our own art, we use cloth nappies, I have been breastfeeding for three years....

More importantly than the new green/AP credintials...I have not had a panic attack since Leni was born, nor have I had a bulimic episode.Lici has helped me to relax, her wonderful birth has re-awakened a spiritual side of me that I thought had been crushed, her sunny nature is developing my optimism and removing the cynical bit of me that I wasn't happy with....and how she makes me laugh! (Pictured above with my Dad...shrieking with laughter because someone said 'tofu')

Clarexxx

An award....my first!

2009-08-25T06:13:00.000-07:00

Thank you Gina! Hopefully, I'll get round to posting a little more often now...although with my La Leche course, another course that I'll blog about soon, two lovely girlies and the Papa, I'm finding life so full and wonderful I have time for very little reflection!

Clarexxx

Leni is 3!

2009-07-27T05:28:00.001-07:00

Leni turned 3 last Thursday, I thought I'd show some pictures of her as a newborn, at 12mths, at 2 and now.

Cuddling her Daddy the day after she was born...her jaundice put her in hospital...mainly due to the Papa and I having heard that you don't wake sleeping babies...still it cleared in a week. She was the grumpiest newborn! Probably due to her being born very blue and needing recussitation and her long hospital stay. She didn't latch on til she was 12 weeks old, a more stressful 12 weeks could not be imagined...I cried every time she latched on for a while I was soooo happy!

12 months old...emptying the washing was one of her favourite things to do, it occupied her for aaaaages! She didn't walk til she was 18mths, she was the speediest crawler and happy as she was. She was such a climber though...used to get up onto the window ledges via the back of the sofa...2 years old...a rainy birthday weekend! She spent ages climbing on this big anchor down at the docks, we went to the Tate and for lunch. 3 years old! This was permanent marker, but it only took a week to wear off...she'd been watching her friend Felix drawing on his arm...

Clarexxx

Too busy living it to blog it!

2009-07-07T07:33:00.000-07:00

The title says it all really...the last six weeks or so have been a riot of walks in the park, picnics, home ed group, playgroup, slingmeet, organising an early years HE craft group, lunches with friends, visits to parents and in-laws, starting up a handbell ringing practice, going to a music festival, collapsing in a heap, nursing and more nursing, playing in the soil, growing a cannellini bean plant, putting daises in bird baths, playing with coloured water, painting, listening to music...

The festival was brilliant actually... www.beatherder.co.uk It wasn't really my kind of music, but the trip was my 10th anniversary present to the Papa so it was chosen to be his sort of indie/britpop kind of stuff. Leni and I really enjoyed a lot of the bands not on the main stage though....folk at 2am, a brass band in the afternoon...and a wonderful organic veggie cafe hat I would have happily taken up residence in forever, lovely thnk carpets in a yurt to lie on and chill...and nurse of course (what else is there to do when Mama lies down?!).

We have been making an effort to be out and about more...there has been plenty going on at the HE group for us to enjoy..I'm organising an early years craft afternoon (hopefully every fortnight), I say organising, I mena buying materials to let the little ones loose on! It seems to be a popular idea, I really want Leni to have plenty of HE friends as she'll lose lots of her playgroup friends come spetember when they all go off to nursery!

Off to make dinner now...veggie burgers!

Leni may have toilet trained herself....

Clarexxx

Inspired...

2009-05-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

I am feeling inspired by everything at the moment, from the wonderful weekend we shared with the lovely GP families (Leni has been talking about Jenna and Maya all week!) to everything I'm reading at the moment, to the general sunshiney goodness we have here today after the deluge yesterday.

So, I'm putting inspiration into action...

Inspired by Sarah...Lici has been nappy free at home for 3 days now, with mixed success, but we're improving, using a combination of timing and intuition as she does different things each time. Pausing sometimes, wiggling at others, I'd like it to be full-time really...but can't see how to work it!

Inspired by a thread on GP a while ago I am planning to get some window boxes going.

Inspired by our need to be frugal, I've started on a couple of handmade gifts and begun collecting things for Leni's birthday present (a dressing up box furnished by charity shop finds).

I'm inspired by the lovely weather to get us outside more, we have no garden so have to make an effort!

Inspired by the weekend generally, no tv since monday afternoon (DH has a pathological NEED to watch the F1 racing!)

Inspired by organising Leni's birthday party with my Mum, I've bought the yarn to start one of the things for the party bags...and I'm collecting our newspapers to make the actual bags.

Inspired by Soulemama's book and a second hand table I've started up a nature table...pictures to follow!

Pictures now....
Clarexxx

Newborn lovliness!

2009-05-07T10:05:00.001-07:00

Eight weeks old tomorrow...and beautiful Lici is getting lovely chunky baby thighs...grinning at us all...giggling at Leni...and only waking once at night! She is a dream, very chilled out, perky and just fabulous to have around!

I'm loving tandem nursing...it goes soooo quiet round here when they're both feeding and Lici seems to enjoy the huge letdowns...Leni is still nursing just as frequently as ever, resulting in my supply being great and some terrifying nappies!

Lici still has her ridge from being posterior and brow all the way out, but it'll go gradually...she really is a mini-Leni in looks, Leni is devoted to her and very helpful. Leni has just got the hang of veg chopping which is great and Lici and I are feeding in the sling now...

All is wonderful!

I thought I'd share some early weeks pictures...Clarexxx

Labour photos...

2009-03-22T03:46:00.001-07:00

Just a few lovely pictures...wish I could capture the ecstatic chilled out feeling and share it though!

Clarexxx

Lici's birth...

2009-03-14T23:49:00.000-07:00

I'm typing this up here, then I can be lazy and just link to my blog rather than posting this all over the place! I'll wait to get the birth pics up here until I see my doula (S) though as she has all the labour pics on her camera.

I began having early labour contractions on Wednesday evening whilst nursing Leni to sleep, they woke me up a few times overnight and once the Papa woke up at 6am they started to come every 10 minutes ish, so I let both my Mum and S know that things were beginning and I'd tell them when it began to get more exciting. The sensation was all in my back so S said she'd come round after work anyway, my Mum usually comes round on a Thursday so they planned to be round at the same time unless things heated up before then.

Contractions continued all day, Leni and I had a relaxed day round the house, with a quick trip round to my Mum's house to play with some different toys! Once my Mum and S arrived, contractions began to come every five minutes...clearly I was waiting for my support team! I was still very calm and happy so when the Papa came home from work Mum and S went home to eat and nap. I nursed Leni to sleep and tried to sleep while the Papa and Leni slept, but they began to get more intense so I called Mum and S who came at around 11pm. Leni woke up and my Mum then watched DVDs with her all night as she wouldn't go back to sleep!

The Papa put the pool up for me while S massaged my back and I wandered around, throwing up a couple of times so I stopped eating and went to just drinking water. By the time the pool was up I was singing a single low note through contractions each time and chatting happily in between. The pool was lovely and I was feeling very loved up and clinging to the Papa and kissing with each contraction, making sex noises when we weren't kissing!

At 1am (we checked the time on the mobile!) I started to worry that I was still in early labour and asked them to call a midwife, possibly going to have an internal. She took an hour to arrive, during which I went through transition...which was what the silly worrying was about...and I had my only coping problem when I agreed to an internal to say more or less than halfway, I DID NOT want her to touch me and got back into the pool, where I quickly calmed down again and on sending the midwife to wait in the kitchen I felt good again and was soon laughing and happy as my body began to give little pushes at the end of each contraction.

After 20 minutes of increasing pushes I decided to get out of the pool as it would be easier for the Papa to support me in squatting. We tried a few positions for this as the pushing got more intense and eventually settled with him on the sofa and me between his legs, laughing and chatting between pushes. As Lici began to crown the midwife came to help, pushing on the base of my spine to help me. Both Papa and I felt her crowning and then I changed to being supported by S so the midwife could talk Papa through catching our girl. She crowned slowly, then her body was born in a final, utterly blissful push, into the waiting arms of her Daddy and the midwife together, who then placed her straight on to my belly.

I was laughing again as she took her first breaths and made some kitten-like quiet noises, she was beautifully pink, began rootingon my stomach and was so calm and happy to be here with us. Her cord was very very short and I started to bleed more than average so when the cord stopped pulsing (I had to tell the midwife as it was so short she couldn't feel it, but I could!) we cut it and Lici nursed as I delivered the placenta.

Leni and my Mum came to see us, Leni said that 'baby is very nice' and my Mum commented that they hadn't heard me...I thought my singing had been really loud! We settled ourselves upstairs after a quick weigh of Felicity, 6lbs3oz, half a pound lighter than Leni, but as she was posterior all the way to birth, pushing was harder work...still didn't hurt though...it was blissful, joyful and I'm still high now!

We slept from 6am, after the midwives left (she'd been born at 4.39am after 4hrs of active labour...well, ish!) and I woke at 8am. My Mum spent most of the day with us, keeping Leni fed and happy...we had our first tandem nurse, which was amazing. Lici is SUCH a fabulous breastfeeder, she is utterly chilled and Leni totally accepts her...just occasionally getting cross if things take a bit too long...pretty normal for a 2 year old!

It was wonderful, perfect and I could happily do it again today...the midwife was joking with me as I delivered the placenta that she'd book me in for next year now!

Clarexxx

Where's Lici?

2009-03-09T06:54:00.000-07:00

I really am starting to wonder where this baby person has got to!

I'm finding it really difficult to describe how I'm feeling when people ask...I'm not physically uncomfortable, I have plenty of energy, my house has never been cleaner and I'm walking a lot. However, my brain is tired...I can't seem to concentrate on anything for long enough to actually enjoy it, I just want to get on to the next bit, I'm really looking forward to labour and having my lovely newborn, I can't wait for Leni to finally be able to hold hands with her baby (she has been going on about it a LOT!).

I am finding Leni difficult to deal with, mostly because I just don't have the stamina to read for the required 6 hours a day at the moment...no, I'm not joking, all she wants to do while we're at home is be read to.

I have now had two afternoons of mild contractions, neither of which I expected to get exciting...so they just annoyed me. I'm hanging on to the hope that they're actually getting me on the way and I'm going to do it this way rather than have pro-dromal labour with strong contractions 5mins apart for 3 days!

My plan for labour is to ignore it as long as possible, then to bake a cake and make a stew (my Mum or doula can finish it off for me if it becomes necessary!)...I'm doing a lot of physical stuff round the house....but nothing seems to make the days go any faster...

At the back of my mind is the fighting I'll have on my hands if I need to decline indication...and the total pain in the bum it'll be to go in for monitoring every other day if I do get that far...its 2 buses, about an hour of travelling for me!

Have had a few more mild contractions while typing this...

Clarexxx...just feeling low.

Late pregnancy

2009-02-19T00:36:00.000-08:00

I'm enjoying late pregnancy more this time around. I suppose I'm just generally more confident and have more to do with the lovely Leni around! We trialed the pool last weekend, Leni loved it and it felt great, all cocoon-like and I needed that feeling to focus in my labour with Leni.

I thought I'd stick on a couple of random pictures on too, my Mum's canal boat; Sally and one just for the loveliness of the cuddy sleeping Leni!

After this weekend (which will be spent cooking things for the freezer!) we are organised for the impending arrival...I'm 36 weeks now, Leni arrived at 37 so it really could be any time from now! My Braxton Hicks contractions have gone up a notch...I get them now every time I get up or walk for a long time so I'm trying to take it easy until I'm 38 weeks. They have changed the home birth guidelines in our area to only 'allow' them from 38 weeks. If I do go before then I won't be going in, but I'd really rather not have an argument with midwives while giving birth!

Leni and I have been watching plenty of homebirth videos online, she'll be in the house while I'm having Lici so I want her to know that the noise is normal! She really enjoys seeing babies being born, regardless of species, and she tells people that 'baby is coming out of Mama's vulva' on a regular basis. Some people have been a bit shocked about her knowledge, but she's so keen to see the birth I thought she should know what is actually going on! She describes newborns as 'all gooey and gorgeous'...I just don't want her (now or ever!) to think of birth as something embarassing to talk about, or scary or anything other than perfectly normal.

I am beginning to think about some kind of record keeping for home education, just to get into the habit really. I'm planning on it being a big folder of Leni's drawings/paintings/craft things, together with photos which I'll just keep all in one place...if nothing else it'll set my mind at ease in case an education officer ever did turn up!

Clarexxx

Srange times

2009-02-03T10:28:00.000-08:00

Strange times here at the moment...Leni is very grumpy almost constantly and not sleeping wonderfully (I know they're related but am not at all sure which is causing which!) and is refusing to do anything for herself...apparently 'my legs fallen off'...she's hilarious even when grumpy!

Our digital camera got broken (fell off the sofa and the lens is stuck!) and the Papa's Dad had a right go at him about it because we allow Leni to take photos with it...he felt awful, his Dad was so unpleasant on the phone to him.

Knitting madness continues, currently just finished are a summer cottony wrap cardigan for the tiny one, her baby blanket (which works, as the Papa fell asleep on it within an hour of its being finished!), the placenta bag (which matches the blanket!) and a matching wrap cardigan for Leni is nearly done as is my GP Seasons swap thingy...I thought I'd best get ahead with it as I had an idea and the energy!

Last Saturday we spent the day at my Mama's canal boat in Llangollen, really good fun and relaxing, lovely company, a delicious meal at their local pub and a good walk. The three of us collapsed in a heap together in bed for the night...we were exhausted! My Mama's favourite duck (called Madge) has her boyfriend for the season already it seems...Leni does love talking to ducks!

I'm 34 weeks pregnant now and have both a midwife and a doula appointment this week. Also this week....henna! I can't wait, we have the stuff all ready to go, perhaps not tonight though seeing as the Papa had to wait half an hour for his bus and has just collapsed in a heap next to me in bed!

Clarexxx

Very late Christmas blog!

2009-01-19T01:08:00.001-08:00

Christmas here was lovely, a quiet day spent with my Mum and Peter, my sister and BIL and a family friend, Len. You can imagine the Len/Leni issues we had all day...

I don't think I've mentioned it before but my family are involved in church bell ringing, so we borrowed our church's set of handbells and spent the evening of Christmas day ringing carols in my Mum's flat...so much fun, Leni loved standing on a chair next to me 'helping'. I love the sound of handbells and we rang for about two hours until Leni was tired and we returned home. Blissful.

We had two lovely days out while the Papa's work was shut for a fortnight too...one a huge family day out with all of my cousins to the 'Chill Factor-e' (the spelling is still irritating me) a real snow indoor centre. Leni had lots of fun throwing snowballs...my poor Mum came off worst though, she was saturated by my 7yo cousin James! Just before the Papa went back to work the three of us spent a sunny and chilly day at Cester zoo, we're members there and we wanted to see the new butterfly exhibit. Leni was a little worried about her Papa when a large emerald grenn butterfly landed on his shoulder, but has been telling everyone about it since!Sadly, this butterfly couldn't manage to turn the page to actually find out!Finally, an arty picture of Lici-bump from the Papa and a full-on one taken by Leni!

Poorly

2008-12-10T01:32:00.000-08:00

I'm typing this one handed due to having a very poorly Leni asleep in the other arm...my little angel, she's amazing when she's ill...much less fuss than the Papa! So the last few days I've been reading, endlessly nursing and sleeping...which means I'm worried about finishing the Christmas stuff I still have to do!

However, I have discovered yet more things I want to knit for our new baby! Leni is very excited about meeting her and is enjoying being kicked around when she leans on my bump...she thinks it is the baby dancing...

We've signed the next year's contract on our lovely flat...it does make our narrowboat plans feel even closer though! I've found a couple of possible places for mooring now...up in the lovely green bit near Ormskirk...two marinas both with laundrettes and all of the other things that will make life afloat easier while we get ourselves up and running. Actually, the recession is making things better for us, the Papa's work is busy with all of the offers companies need to advertise, our grocery bills are the same (we get an organic veg delivery & use a wholefood shop) and narrowboat prices are falling!

A wittery sort of blog, but my mind is a bit odd from being stuck in the house for so long!

Clarexxx