Parenting Manifesto

Without going into it all, last week I had my confidence and mental health totally rocked by a bullying Children Missing Education Officer followed by an unannounced visit from a Health Visitor. The purpose of the visits was, as was made abundantly clear to 'check on the children' as we haven't been 'seen' by any health professionals or similar official types for 'too long'.

My confidence is as low as it was before I had Leni, I've been finding it difficult to eat and am scared to open the front door. I will not let it stay that way. I'd prefer to be angry rather than scared, so letters have been dispatched to complain and to provide an Ed Phil. I feel the need to shout about the things I care about. They are different to the mainstream and actually, I feel that they represent the gold standard for parenting. Your gold standard is probably different.

People before things. Fliss' desire to chuck baking soda and dessicated coconut around the kitchen and to declare that it is snowing is more important than either kitchen floor, coconut or baking soda.

Children are people too. I give my children the same respect and courtesy I would give to adults. More in some cases, depending on the adult. I wouldn't try to alter an adult to suit my life or preferences, I won't do this to my children.

Given an interesting environment, they will learn what they need to. I strew, I offer activities, I present ideas for days out. They say yes or no, and come up with their own ideas too.

Discipline is about solving problems together. Not riding roughshod over their emotions; asking what went wrong and figuring out together how to solve the problem. When people are angry and upset they already feel bad enough, it is my job to make it better, not punish and make it worse.

Clarexxx